We have a partial winner from last week !!!! The lovely and talented Donna correctly identified that
Gonna finish it quick,gonna finish it clean Don't wanna be bitter, I don't wanna be mean I feel like we're driving down a dead-end street I've come so far, I wanna crash the car I wanna land right on my feet
was from "Don't Tear Me Up", but it's a Mick Jagger solo record, not a Stones tune. Half a brava, Donna, half a brava!!!! Onto this week's clue:
Listen all you people,come gather 'round I gotta get me a game plan, Gotta shake you to the ground
We have no winner from last week! Nobody recognized
Last night was so fun Loving one on one I was holding you so tight That I might make you my wife
from "Feels Good" by Tony! Toni! Tone! have you all forgotten about 3T ? Shame on you!! Onto this week's clue:
Gonna finish it quick,gonna finish it clean Don't wanna be bitter, I don't wanna be mean I feel like we're driving down a dead-end street I've come so far, I wanna crash the car I wanna land right on my feet
Good luck, Crimestoppers!! And Happy first night of Hannukah!!!
I will warn you...The information I'm gonna share with you is disturbing. It will disturb you. It will shock you. It will rock your world to it's very foundation( and not in the good, power ballad kind of way, in the BAD,cold toilet seat on a winter morning way). But I must share it with you just the same.
Look at THIS:
Do you see it ? Do you see what it says on the right side of the package ? FAVE-REDS!!!!!! And do you know what that means ? Do you ?
It means that the Commies have taken control of our candy!!!! And they are so brazen and proud of it !! Did you ever think you would see such a thing ? All RED Starbursts(or is it Starbust ? What is the correct plural ? Anybody know ?)? Just look at this:
Have you ever seen anything so distasteful and horrifying ? I am in a state of shock !! I'm at a total loss!! Where is Seanator McCarthy when we need him ? Come back, Joe!! Save our Sweets!!!
We have a winner from last week! The lovely and talented *jaime correctly identified
"I might never have liked you. Point of fact, I despise you. But that doesn't suggest I don't respect you.Dying in our sleep is a luxury our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you."
from Kill Bill,Vol.1. Brava, *jaime,brava!!! Onto this week's clue, a movie from 1996:
"They sit there and use subliminal messages to suck your children's minds out! And I know what I'm talking about because I went to junior college for a semester and I studied psychology, so I'm right in there, I know what's going on!"
In honor of Tiger Woods and his recent struggles, I thought I would post a bit of my sordid past....This is from April of 2008....
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I'm Sorry....
I know, I should have said it sooner, but I...Well, I don't really know what I was thinking. I seem to be saying both of those things a lot lately.
"Sorry." and "I don't know what I was thinking."
It's been an ugly couple of weeks, but I am here to apologize, set the record straight, and hopefully, begin the healing process and move on. Of course, I will need your assistance on the last two.
Where should I begin ? I guess the "pictures" are as good a place as any. I am sure you have all seen them by now, so I am not going to link to them here. But I will attempt to explain some of them.
First of all, I need to say that I greatly respect Annie Leibovitz, so when she says "You know what would be great, Paticus ? A picture of you in a tiger print thong, dry-humping a bearskin rug !", You go with it, you know ? She assured me it would look tasteful. And when she says" You know what else would look great ? If we put you, naked, in a bathtub full of baked beans with a ferret and Verne Troyer-It'll be like an homage to Tommy, The Big Lebowski and Austin Powers!!" You agree, because she's freakin' Annie Leibovitz, right ? Needless to say, the photos are not as tasteful as I was led to believe. And I certainly was not aware she was still taking pictures as I climbed out of the bathtub.
As for the videos popping up on the interwebs...What can I say ? A digital camera, three bottles of Ouzo, a Snow White costume and Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits are not a good combination.
As for the scantily clad images that have been posted on the web, those were taken by someone that I loved and thought I trusted, but that was clearly bad judgement on my part, and I do apologize for those photos as well.
Dear readers, I know how disappointed you must be in me. I know how much you adore me. how much you look up to me. How much you trust me. And I feel horribly that I have betrayed that trust and that adoration. I cannot do anything but beg your forgiveness. I am truly sorry. And I also want you to know that i will be checking myself into the Crossroads Treatment Center in Antigua, to receive treatment for my addiction to Benadryl and Vault Zero soda. With the love and support of my family, my friends, My Special Lady, and, of course, you, my dear readers...I will beat this damn thing.
We have 2 winners from last week!!! The loveley and talented Andrew and the lovely and talented Donna correctly identified Many dreams come true And some have silver linings I live for my dream And a pocketful of gold
from "Over The Hills and Far Away" by Zeppelin, Led!! Bravo & brava, Andrew & Donna, bravo & brava!!!
Onto this week's clue:
Last night was so fun Loving one on one I was holding you so tight That I might make you my wife
So, I watched the new Star Trek movie this weekend. Meh. Didn't hate it, didn't like it either.Mostly just didn't care.
Was this because I was not a big fan of the tee vee shows ? Or the other eleven thousand Star Trek movies ? I liked Wrath of Khan, and I liked the one where they return to Earth in our time. Otherwise, I'm not even sure which ones I watched. I remember being very excited to see "Star Trek: the Motion Picture" when it was first released, and being bored out of my skull by it.
Any of you guys or gals big Star Trek fans ? What is it with me and Star Trek ? Why don't I get it ? Am I just too stupid ?
A bit of a disclaimer on this story here. I wrote this I guess about a year ago(maybe more?) as part of this word game contest. We were given 10 words that we had to fit into a story. Then the entries were posted anonymously and voted on. I never won(and you may know why in a few seconds) but I just came across a couple of my entries, and I thought that they were kind of amusing. I hope you enjoy.
“I see London, I see France, I see Bush’s underpants!!” Screamed the transvestite in the halter top as he ran down the street.
It was nice to see someone making a political statement. Trying to make a difference in this crazy world. I myself was in that sketchy neighborhood trying to score some pot. That was all that mattered to me. That’s a good start. I could tell them about the guy who was gonna hit someone upside the head “with a reel to reel tape!” No, I can’t say that without laughing. That dude was too funny. I could just say that something really awful happened. And now I have a criminal record. No, that will never work.
Pot. Weed. Maui Wowie. Chronic. Doobie. Wacky Tobacky. Call it whatever you want, but don’t call it harmless. No, we always thought that poster was stupid.
I could have been something. I was smart. I could have gone to an Ivy League school. Become a banker. Had a protégé. And maybe even escaped a scandal unindicted. A real power broker. But nooooo. I thought it would be more fun to smoke some dried herbs out of a hollowed out apple. Or out of a pipe made out of a monkey’s paw. Okay, I never smoked out of a monkey’s paw. That would have been cool, though, huh? What am I saying? No, that would not have been cool. Gotta stay focused.
Pot is bad. Very bad. It will blow your world to smithereens. You’ll get mixed up with backstabbing drug dealers. You’ll embroil yourself in crazy schemes. You’ll write inane sentences and think you are a poet. You will think your friend Kelly is a qualified barber, and end up with gashes in your skull. No, that’s too harsh.
You’ll sit around with your friends, stoned out of your gourds, and write a letter to the Frito-Lay corporation, telling them to cease and desist with their Just Say No To Drugs campaign, or you will boycott their Doritos, and that will be a problem for them because it is a well known universal truth that stoners eat A LOT of Doritos. That will show those folks at Frito-Lay. Man that was funny. What am I saying? I can’t tell them that story.
What if I claim that I had a promising career in the minor leagues, but I failed a drug test and that ended my baseball career? No, they would probably want proof.
Criminy. How the hell do I talk to my kids about the dangers of pot? Where’s Nancy Reagan when you need her?
Monday Memories....Volume the 14th
