Thursday, March 02, 2006

The State Of The Blog....

Ahem....(papers rustling...sip of water)

I would like to thank you all for coming to today's "State Of The Blog Address"...As some of you may have realized, as of Tuesday, February the 28th, in this year of our lord two thousand and six, Sandwich Flats has been taking up space in the internets for a year...(applause)...(applause)...(applause)...(applause)...Okay, thank you...Thank you...(applause)....(applause)...That's enough, really people, thank you...A whole year...Shazam !!...I'm as surprised as you are, believe me...Yowza...Three hundred and sixty five days...Well, what is there to be said about that ?...I have a lot of stupid things to say, I guess is the first thing that comes to mind, and I have just the type of rampant ego to assume that others give a rat's ass what I have to say...So the blog was a natural, I suppose, I certainly think it made my circle of friends happy, because before the blog was started, they were the unfortunate recipients of a lot of my musings and opinions via the magic of electronic mail...The blog saved them from that, and for that we should ALL be thankful...(applause)...(applause)....Thank you...I feel I have learned from the blog...For instance, the difference between Belgian and non-Belgian waffles...I have shared my opinions on the important news of our times, I have shared my many ailments(both big and small- by the way,almost seven months since my last outbreak of viscosity and thermal breakdown) and my likes and dislikes in the worlds of movies, television, music, sports and many others, I'm sure...I have shared hopes,dreams, fears...But never a straw, because, ew, that's gross !!....Okay, but that's the past...What of the FUTURE of Sandwich Flats ? And for those of you who had hoped that this speech would end in my retirement, I am sorry to say, you will not get your wish today, but please continue with the mass mailing capmpaign, maybe someday it will sink into my thick skull, and I will "GET THE FUCK OFF OF THE INTERWEB" as you so eloquently and frequently request...No folks, the State Of The Blog is Strong...And it will continue...(APPLAUSE)....(APPLAUSE)....(APPLAUSE)...Thank you...And here are my promises to you...I will finish the Fertility Odyssey, (and just a sneak preview- there will be discussion of porn)...(applause)...(applause)...Thank you...I will also finish the Rally To Tally...I will include more lists !! I will try even harder to evoke audience participation !! I will include more pictures !! (applause)...(applause)...I will work to lower taxes !!! I will successfully invade Pensacola !!! Oops, scratch those last two, those are for a different speech...I will continue to be inane, I will continue to share my groundless and ridiculous opinions, and I will continue to abuse and overuse ellipses !!! Thank you and good night !!!!

Stay tuned for the opposition's rebuttal...

1 comment:

Feral Mom said...

Happy birthday, Sandwich Flats! And yes, a continuation of both the Fertility Odyssey and the Rally to Tally is in order...