Thursday, July 06, 2006

Armadillo Armageddon !!!!!

First of all, I'm pretty sure that "Armageddon" is not the correct word for the tale I am going to spin, but I am a major sucker for alliteration, and "Armadillo Armageddon" just rolled out of my brain and right off of my tongue. And a nonsensical title is perfect, because I'm not really sure what this post is about, I just know that I witnessed something, and I feel it needs to be mentioned.

Let me set the Scene: The fireworks started early at Sandwich Flats on Tuesday morning, as one of our ten month old twins(LAB) is getting two top teeth. Now, the thing about LAB is that she was born with the Paticus family volume control- She goes to "11"- Correction, she STARTS at "11", she goes to about "17". Anyway, LAB's teeth were causing her some oral discomfort, which she was expressing vocally, and which was, in turn, causing My Special Lady and I great aural discomfort.

I was dispatched to obtain some Orajel, which would hopefully, to quote Homer Simpson, "Shut her cryhole." wed decided to divide and conquer, as her sister RLB, was not in a great mood either, so I took LAB with me. For some reason, she stayed pretty happy for the whole trip, but that's not important right now.

along with the Orajel, I was also supposed to buy some Pedia-Care, which is cold medicine for the babies, I think. (My Special Lady is the brains of the outfit, I'm the brawn and good looks.) Of course, the first CVS I went to did not have any Pedia-Care(they DID, however, have the Orajel, PLUS my test strips and lancets for my glucose meter AND LAB's steroid prescription(we want to make sure she gets a spot on the U.S. Olympic Softball team, and it's never too early for the JUICE, they always say), so I decided to look for it at the Publix, as we needed some bread and some BBQ fixin's anyway.

No Pedia-Care at Publix, either. I was going to try the other CVS in the area, and then I guess I was just gonna have to get my old dealer Tino on the phone, and see if he could hook me up with some "peedey"(that's the street name- catchy, huh ?)

Here's where the armadillos come in. As I drove along Blairstone( a little aside here: during the spellcheck, it suggested that I replace "Blairstone" with "playwrights"- Huh ?), I noticed a dead armadillo on the side of the road. "Hmm..."I thought " That's the second dead armadillo I've seen on this road in the past week." Then I saw another one...And ANOTHER one...And ANOTHER one...4 dead armadillos(4 in one day- 5 over the week). I had only driven a single block !!! How crazy is that ? You see ? Armadillo Armageddon !! I mean, what is going on people ?

Any bible readers out there ? I went to CCD for 9 years, but it was all in one ear out the other. I memorized what I needed in order to skate by the sacraments, but I didn't retain much- the only thing I really remember was my 4th grade teacher explaining that they would have nailed Jesus to the cross through his wrist, as the bones in his hands were not strong enough to hold him up. Creepy, but it stuck. But here's my question: Is there anything in the bible about the Armadillo Armageddon ? Is it up there with the plagues and sea of blood and all that stuff ?
Are the dead armadillos a sign ?

I'm kinda freaked out people. I'm kinda freaked out.

Oh, and by the way, the second CVS did have Pedia-Care, in case you were wondering.

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