Wednesday, January 02, 2008

The Answer is: We Don't Have Waffles.

The Question ?
What 4 words are the last you would expect to hear at a WAFFLE HOUSE ?

Well, we heard them last night. It was un-fucking-believable. I'm not an unreasonable man(my twin 2 year old girls ? They are unreasonable- and they WANTED waffles) but there are some things I expect in life, and one of them is, when I enter any of the seemingly 7 billion Waffle Houses along I-95 or I-295, or whatever other fucking I-blah blah blah I am driving on, I should be able to eat a fucking WAFFLE !!!! And, I should be able to give waffles to my precious spawn who had spent the last hour in the car saying "waffle ?" to me and My Special Lady.

There is an upside, if they had not been unable to make waffles, I would not have ordered a hamburger, and if I had not ordered a hamburger(a dry, overcooked cheeseburger with non melted cheese on a bun that disintegrated upon contact with my hands), I would not be able to tell you that yesterday, January 1st, 2008, I had the two WORST HAMBURGERS I have ever eaten in my life. And I eat a LOT of fucking hamburgers(I eat my share of virginal hamburgers as well), so it is quite a feat that the two worst hamburgers I have eaten in my 37 years on this planet were ingested on the same day.

What's that ? You would like to know about the OTHER hamburger ? It was from Wendy's,and I actually brought it back once, and they made me ANOTHER one, that was almost as bad. The bun was like rubber, they had fucking SLATHERED it in mustard. it was just unpleasant. I can't really do it justice. Just trust me on it, it was a shitty burger.

Food misadventures a side, we have all safely returned to the Sunshine State.

My holidays were okay, thanks for asking. I visited my Dad's grave on Christmas, and I had a talk with him.(It was somewhat telepathic,as My Special Lady was there, and I thought she might club me and run away if I started speaking out loud.) I did tell him that I missed him, and that my Mom was doing okay. And that's all I'll say about that for now- I don't mean to bring the room down.

We spent New Year's in Rocky Mount, North Carolina. And I'll tell you what, if you have never spent New Year's in Rocky Mount, North Carolina, I don't really have anything to tell you to convince you to do so, except that the porn selection at the Courtyard by Marriott is decent.

So anyway, Happy New Year to you all.

2 comments:

c2 said...

Glad to have you back! It's your blog, talk about what you want to talk about.

And Happy New Year to you!

Avitable said...

Happy New Year. I would have burned that Waffle House to the ground.