Monday, February 18, 2008

Meet My Ties: Volume One !!!!!!!!!

Good morning everyone, Craven Moorehead here. Six months ago(as you may remember from the press releases, and my small media tour), I was hired as the new VP of Marketing/Public Relations here at Sandwich Flats. And let me tell you, this has been an uphill climb, but I think we are on the right track now.

You may all remember, shortly after I arrived here, I sent out a survey asking what YOU, the people of the world wanted to see at Sandwich Flats...And the reponse was overwhelming: Barnyard/Zoo Porn. Some of the requests were quite graphic, in fact. Zip your pants back up, we are not doing Barnyard Porn here at Sandwich Flats(though keep your eyes open for Paticus Giraffe, coming to the web soon!!)

The second most popular request was for a peek into the Paticus' Haberdashery...So here we are...A new weekly series here at the Flats: Meet My Ties !!! I think the concept is fairly self-explanatory, but here is a brief synopsis: Each week, we will offer a photograph or two of one of Paticus' ties, and he will offer some insight into the tie, perhaps it's origin, perhaps which shirt color it goes best with, perhaps an amusing anecdote about a time the tie was worn...You get the idea, huh ? Electric stuff !!!

Without further ado, here is the man himself, Paticus !

(Much applause)

Thank you, Craven, thank you. You are doing a fantastic job here, just fantastic! I still can't understand how the Gabor sisters let us steal you away.

Good morning folks. It's an exciting new day here at Sandwich Flats, and you can just feel the excitement in the air, can't you ? It's like Christmas, the Super Bowl, and a Brangelina adoption all in one !!!

Let's get this party started huh ? Tie Number One !!!

Tie Number One was given to me as a gift by My Special Lady back in the early '90's, if I am remembering correctly. I remember her giving me three ties before I moved out to Los Angeles in June of 1994, a red tie, a blue and white striped tie(both since retired) and Tie Number One:

Sweet looking piece of silk, huh ? That's right, baby- 100% silk , handwoven in the good ole U S of A !!!

It's a Jerry Garcia tie. It has been repaired once(the stitching on the back was coming loose, but fret not, it was more as a result of it being stuck in the door of as moving bus, and not due to faulty stitching)...And it's the tie I was wearing when I saved that basket of kittens from the burning building. I also wore it the first time I tried a Quizno's sub.

Here's a second photo for more detail:

Sweet, huh ? Not an easy tie to match with shirts, though. I have a green shirt that it looks pretty snazzy with, and of course, I can wear it with a white shirt, but no stripes or checks for this tie, my friends. NosireeBob. that would be an overdose of Razz-ma-tazz!!

So there you have it, Crimestoppers, Volume One of Meet My Ties!!

See you next week with another tie !!!!

(We apologize for the quality of the photos...we can't promise we will do better, but we promise we will try to care enough to do better.)


Avitable said...

The only tie I have is a Snoopy tie from my fraternity days. It's nice having a casual workplace.

Miss Ann Thrope said...

Love the ties but seriously...caught in a bus door? That is a story that needs to be told.

Get right on that plz thx.

Feral Mom said...

Yes, please tell. Also, I want to hear about your first Quiznos sub. Fuck the basket of kittens.

Paticus said...

Avitable: I don't have a Snoopy tie. I'll have to keep my eyes open for one of those.

Miss. Ann & Feral Mom- Well, um...I might have exaggerated(sp?) a little for dramatic effect...It wasn't actually a bus door...It was a bathroom door, but it was ina bad neighborhood..Okay, well, it was actually a bathroom stall door...And it wasn't in a bad neighborhood either...But it was scary...there was a moth in the bathroom!! I swear there was...Or at least I'm pretty sure there was..It may have been a scrap of toilet paper caught in an updraft...Is that the phone ringing ? I gotta go !!

Miss Ann Thrope said...

Poetic license??

Paticus said...

Miss Ann- Poetic License !! Exactly !! That's what it was. !