What ? I'm not ? are you sure ? I'm fairly sure that I received roughly 427 million votes last night.
Could you re-check the results ? I'll wait.
What's that ? I received less that 427 million votes ? I guess I need to have a talk with my management team, I was misinformed. How many votes did I win by, then ? More like 12 or 14 million, rather than the approximately 350 million that it was initially reported I won by ?
What's that ? Now your claiming I did not win ? Now I feel like you might be the ones who are mistaken. How many hundred million votes did I receive ? 200 million votes ? And you want me to believe that 200 million votes was not enough to win ? Which of those other two chumps got MORE than 200 million votes ?
What's that ? Not 200 million votes ? I got 2 votes ? Both cast by a Mrs. Paticus ? I see.
Well, at least my Mom thinks I'm the best.
So screw you, Simon and Randy and Paula !!And you, Seacrest, you better watch your step.
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