Thursday, August 21, 2008

All Apologies....

I'll admit it, I had hoped that in the glitter of the Olympics and the growing suspense on "Greatest American Dog" nobody would notice.

Boy was I wrong.

Based on the huge amount of mail(both paper and electronic)that I have received, you all certainly did notice...And you are not happy about it. And, while I can appreciate your anger, some of the language was really uncalled for, and if I find out who "anonymous" is, you will pay for what you said about my Mother.

So, I am sorry. I am truly sorry for having skipped Meet My Ties on Monday.I have disgraced Sandwich Flats, I have disgraced myself,and I have no excuse.

Sure, I could have come up with some lame story about needing to secure clearances for the photos we use, or about my cat eating the copy, but what good would that do ?

I could try and tell you that I was wrapped up in the"athleticism" of the Olympics' women's beach volleyball(Go May-Treanor & Walsh-whoo-hoo!!), but that's no excuse, either.Even holding and watching beach volleyball, I would still have one hand free to type.

I could tell you all about the pirate robot ninjas that attacked me on Sunday night because they thought I was still in the spy game, but I had killed them all and buried their mangled corpses by 10:00 p.m.

And sure, ALL of these things probably did add up to my not posting Meet My Ties on Monday, but it doesn't matter, does it ? What matters is that I dropped the ball. I blew it. Screwed the pooch.Flogged the cat. Circumcised the rhinoceros.

I will make it up to you, though.

I was going to post a Meet My Ties today, but that would have been cheap, and ugly and wrong.

But you know what I AM going to do ? Monday is gonna be a two-fer. That's right, Crimestoppers, you better mark it on your calendars, Monday is going to be a red letter motherfucking day at Sandwich Flats !! Meet My Ties Volume 24 is going to introduce you to TWO of my ties!! Oh glorious day !!!

I know that it will not fix what i have broken, but perhaps it can begin the healing process.

Peace out, Crimestoppers !!!


sh said...

Or, you could have blamed Fenwick, saying that he shat on your ties. Or that real pirates (those that have been crazy-busy off the African coast this week) made a little side trip to Fla. to steal your ties.

Paticus said...

sh- This is the kind of thinking I need on the Sandwich Flats team !! I am making you my executive vice-president !!!