Thursday, November 06, 2008

Sandwich Flats Gets Real: Essence of Paticus

I have heard the complaints...And I will do something about it.
that's right...I have heard the rumblings...That Sandwich Flats is getting too broad, that there are too many games,too much stupidity, not enough of the true Paticus. I am here to tell you that I have heard your pleas, and I am doing something about it.
I am going old school journal with the Flats...We are going to get back to the Essence of Paticus.
Starting now....
November 6th, 2008
5:18 a.m.- Woke up, glanced at the clock..not 6 yet, awesome, I get a little more sleep.
6:00 a.m.- alarm sounds, open eyes, turn off alarm. Listen to a few minutes of Jackson Browne's 'Before the Deluge".
6:02 a.m.- Exit the bed, walk to the bathroom.
6:03 a.m.- urinate. Flush toilet.
6:05 a.m.- Turn on shower.
6:05:30 a.m.- Enter shower.
6:06 a.m.- Apply shampoo.
6:06:30 a.m.:Lather
6:08 a.m.: Rinse
6:09: Repeat
6:12: Shampoo beard.
6:13:Soap up.
6:14: Rinse off.
6:15: Turn off shower,exit shower,grab towel.
6:16-6:18-Dry self with towel
6:18:Apply deodorant
6:19:Apply product to hair.
6:21:Exit bathroom.
6:22: put on underwear and t-shirt,grab socks.
6:23:Leave bedroom
6:24:Hear my twin 3 year old daughters LAB & RLB talking in her bedroom.
6:25:Pour cereal into bowls for LAB(Frosted Mini-Wheats) and RLB(Apple Cinnamon Cheerio's)
6:26: put bowls on table and cover each with a paper towel.
6:27:Enter LAB & RLB's room,say good morning to both.They both push past me to get to the living room.
6:28: say, "okay girls, let's get in your seats for breakfast" go into kitchen to pour myself a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats.
6:29: Am asked by RLB if she can have some candy for breakfast. Tell her no. RLB then tells me"I like candy." respond that I know she does, but that she still can't have it for breakfast. Am told that I am "silly".
6:31: Say, for the second time"okay girls, let's get in our seats for breakfast", am told by LAB that she is "doing somefing".
6:32:finish preparing my bowl of cereal. say for the 3rd time, "Okay girls, let's get in our seats for breakfast."Remarkably, they both climb into their seats.
6:33: ask RLB if she is ready for milk. She responds that she is, and then puts her hand on the gallon of milk to "help" me pour it in.
6:34: Wait for LAB to finish turning all of her Mini-Wheats frosted side up.
6:35: Can now add milk to LAB's cereal. She also puts a hand on the gallon of milk to "help".
6:35:25:Am informed that i did not give LAB enough milk. Add some more. That seems to be enough.
6:36:Test blood sugar. Numbers okay. Who--hoo!!
6:37: Sit down on the couch to eat my cereal and watch parts of my TiVo'd Conan O'Brien from last night. Start Fast Forwarding through the show.
6:38: Am informed by RLB that LAB is "watching teeee-vee instead of eating breakfast."I look over to see them both staring at the tee vee. I tell them to eat their breakfast.
6:38:30: Am asked by LAB if I am "Doing somefing". I answer that I am,in fact, doing "somefing".
6:39:Finally stop fast forwarding Conan for the musical guest:Phil Lesh and Friends.Say good morning to My Special Lady, who has emerged from the bedroom.
6:40:Watch the girls boogie in their chairs to "Sugaree". RLB asks me if that is "Obama, too ?", and I say it is not.
6:41:Switch to TiVO'd Late Show with David Letterman, continue eating cereal.
6:42: Am informed by LAB that she wants to tell Mommy that she is all done, so that Mommy can get her out of her seat. I respect her wishes.
6:50: Finish up cereal, take medications.
6:51: Head to the bathroom to assist LAB after doing her "business".
6:52: Informed by LAB that there is no soap.
6:54: Give up looking for new soap, and discover that there actually is enough soap for LAB to wash her hands.
6:55: Go back to bedroom.
6:55:30:Enter bathroom.
6:56:Floss teeth.
6:58:Brush teeth with new-fangled toothbrush.Get a bit creeped out by vibrations on roof of mouth.
7:00: Rinse mouth with new Crest mouthwash.
7:01:Exit bathroom, grab shirt, tie and pants and head back to living room.
7:01-7:12: Get dressed in living room as Special Lady helps the girls get dressed.
7:12: Ask Special Lady where the stamps are so that I can mail C2's birthday card.
7:14:Get stamps from Special Lady.
7:15:Help Special Lady corral the girls so that we can leave the house.
7:16:Lock the door to the house.
7:17; help the girls into the car, give them "mooches" goodbye, kiss Special Lady goodbye.
7:19:Get into "Daddy's silver car"(The girls and Mommy are in "Mommy's geen car").
7:20: Exit driveway.

Coming soon: The Commute.

1 comment:

c2 said...

Coming soon: The Commute.

But when?! I can't wait!