Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Dream A Little Dream For Me....

So, I had a very disturbing dream about Dunkin' Donuts on Sunday night.Now, I know that people form all over this great blue ball of ours read this blog, and maybe not everyone knows about Dunkin' Donuts. Dunkin' Donuts is the greatest donut franchise that ever has existed. Supposedly, they have great coffee as well...I would not know, as I do not drink coffee. My body is a temple, and I can't put that kind of caffeinated sludge into my temple.After donuts and Coke Zero, there's no room.
  The reason that Dunkin' Donuts is the greatest donut franchise ever is, quite simply, because of this donut:

The Chocolate Kreme donut. Trust me, the picture does not do it justice.It is near donut perfection...Do you know why? You know what the Kreme is ? It is basically cake frosting. You heard me...Cake frosting. OH MY GOD, it is so good.When your Krispy Kreme produces something even close to the ambrosia that is the Chocolate Kreme Donut, then we can talk.(And remind me to tell you about the time I met the cook from a local bar and the enlightening conversation we had about Roy Orbison and the nature of fame.)

   Alas, there are no Dunkin' Donuts in Tallahassee...It is an indulgence for when I visit New Jersey...Which is probably good for my arteries.

  Okay, so we have established Dunkin' Donuts, onto the dream.

  It started with me learning that the owner of Dunkin' Donuts(Jeremiah C. Dunkin', at least in my dream), was going to move all of his Dunkin' Donuts franchises into these new buildings that were kinda like rail cars or trailers. They actually looked pretty cool.

  It turned out that he was doing this to circumvent the anti-smoking laws.He was tired of people not being able to have some coffee, a donut, and smoke a butt, so he was doing something about it. I guess he and his lawyers had found a loophole in the law regarding the shape and dimensions of the buildings used for eateries and the anti-smoking legislation.

 There were all sort of elaborate concept drawings in the newspapers and on the tee vee, it was a national sensation!

  But then, an investigative reporter uncovered a memo that revealed that the plan was actually to shut down every Dunkin' Donuts location in the United States, and the restructuring was simply a red herring to draw attention away from the closures. How exactly this was going to work, I don't know. I guess they would shut down the franchises for reconstruction, and then just never open them up again.

 This news made everyone very sad...And then I woke up.

 I was up with the girls Monday morning, so we decided to go to the park and then go to the Donut Kingdom, which was a new donut shop here in Tallahassee. Except that when we got there, we discovered that the Donut Kingdom was closed,and there was a leasing sign up in the window. So, I don't know if the Donut Kingdom was ever actually opened, but now it was closed.So we decided to go to Krispy Kreme.

  But fear not...Come December, the girls and I will visit the Dunkin' Donuts in Bergenfield, New Jersey, and all will be right with the world.


Poppy said...

You know what's even more amazing than the chocolate kreme donut? The maple kreme. Sold pretty much exclusively in VT, for whatever reason. I'd hurt someone for a maple kreme donut.

Paticus said...

Never seen a Maple Kreme donut...Intriguing.