Monday, August 16, 2010

"Why Do You Have Such A Big Fat Belly?"

Yup. That's the question I got at the pool this weekend.

  I was sitting there(floating there, to be more accurate) in the Activity Pool(it's kinda like a kiddie pool, but it has slides and sprays and shit), waiting for my girls to come back across the pool(their Mom was chasing them across) when this little boy wanders over and says hi.
   "How you doing?" I ask. "Swimming?" I ask, as I am a master of conversation. What is his reply?

  'Why do you have such a big fat belly?" he asks. I think if I had been drinking a beverage, a spit take certainly would have done a hilarious spit take. Blunt little fellow.Goes right to the heart of the matter.

  "Because I eat too much." I answer.

  "Yeah," he says," You should have a tiny belly." And he puts his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart to drive home his concept of "The Tiny Belly".

  "Yes I should," I answer.

 Then he started on one of those rambles that 3/4 year olds go on, where if I can pick out a word or two, I'm lucky, and I pretty much NEVER understand what they are actually talking about. I just nod and say "uh huh" a lot, and watch their facial cues for whether I should be happy or sad. And this rant was no different, though I am pretty sure that somewhere in there he mentioned his Mommy who was home and she had a big fat belly because she had a baby in there.One of my daughters came by and dragged me to the other side of the pool, putting an end to our exchange.
  So, that was my Sunday afternoon, floating in a pool of pee and chlorine, being compared to a pregnant lady. I guess it's time to get my fat ass walking again, so I can lose this baby weight.

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