Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Deli Warning...

I titled this piece before I started eating my lunch, and now I find myself in a bit of a conundrum... My original point in this post was to warn you of a hazard lurking behind every deli counter(as far as I know), but now, the taste of my lunch has thrown a bit of a wrench into that...I think perhaps I will still issue the warning, but I will also include the lunch revelation.

  Sunday, I was at the deli counter in one of our local supermarkets. For anonymity's sake, I will call it Mublix. Now, this is not the Mublix we normally shop at, but we have shopped there before, and it is a perfectly pleasant store, and actually, the warning I am delivering is not really any negative bearing on the store, so perhaps "warning" is the incorrect term to use, i am just sharing a bit of knowledge that might help you not make the same mistake I did, or perhaps, it will alert you to something that you might quite enjoy. Either way, it is something that I did not know before Sunday, and that I now do know.

  I decided to order some ham(Boar's Head, on sale) and I asked the very nice(if not exactly fleet of foot or hand) lady behind the deli counter to "slice it very thin". I like my luncheon meats sliced very thin. I don't have a concrete reason why, I just like them that way. What happened next had never happened before; Usually when i ask for it sliced thin, they cut a slice, and the hand it to me, I get a taste, and I let them know if it's thin enough...Nine times out of ten, it is. that did not happen Sunday..Oh, no, it did not.

  Here is what happened Sunday: the very nice(if not exactly fleet of foot or hand) deli lady asked me if I wanted it "shaved". That threw me for a second. AND it sounded intriguing. I responded quickly in the affirmative. And then I did not think too much more about it. She shaved the ham, cut some cheese(did you think I could resist that turn of phrase? Did you really?) and we were on our way.

  Cut to: Interior kitchen, Monday morning: A fat, bearded man in a brand new Hanes tagless t-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs is preparing to make  ham sandwich as his twin daughters eat some cereal(one eating rice krispies, the other, frosted mini-wheats), opens the plastic bag from the Mublix deli, and attempts to remove a thin slice of ham from the bag...I say "attempted" because he is unsuccessful. He tries again. No luck.He removes the ham in its' entirety out of the bag and inspects it. He has a momentary flashback to the Mublix deli counter and the very nice(if not exactly fleet of foot or hand) deli lady asking, "You want it shaved? and he realizes that THIS is shaved. It is sliced so thinly that one slice is essentially indecipherable from the next, so it is kinda like a big ball of ham. He sighs and plucks off a few chunks and makes his sandwich, vowing to politely, but firmly answer "NO" to any further offers of shaved deli meats.
 And scene.

  I was not excited for my sandwich when I sat down for lunch on Monday afternoon, but I must say, the sandwich was delicious.Now, the question is, was the sandwich great BECAUSE of the shaved ham, or IN SPITE OF the shaved ham? I do not know. I suppose this weekend, i will get the same ham, but simply sliced thin, and we will see how things turn out.

  So there you have it, my little "warning" or instructional tale, or whatever you may choose to call it(just don't call it late for lunch.).

1 comment:

Avitable said...

I've had it shaved before - it makes it good for subs, because you can pack it in there, rather than trying to fit an oblong slice into a cylindrical sub.