Monday, February 28, 2011

"Sandwich Flats is six, grab your crucifix..."

7,8, better stay up late...

What the what? A Freddy Krueger reference? You got that right, Dillweeds! Pulling out all the stops!!!

  Okay, so those that read this blog regularly(and by my calculations, that means several million people, domestic and international) know that my intention was to have the 6th birthday of Sandwich Flats coincide with the 1500th post. Well, after a valiant effort, that was a miserable failure. I am still about 40 posts short. Pathetic, I know, but what are you gonna do, huh?

  Anyhoo, as I realized that the dream of a 6th birthday/1500 postapalooza was slipping through my fingers, I realized that I needed to come up with something different to do for the 6th Birthday, and I knew that simply a clever Nightmare on Elm Street reference would not be enough(though it was a fantastic start, don't you think?). No, I needed to do something else. But what? I wracked my feeble brain. And it finally came to me: LSD!!
  Yes, I would set up the webcam, drop some acid, and let the magic happen!

Well, as one might guess, 12 hours of a fat, shirtless, sweaty man playing air bongos to a loop of  Kansas' "Carry On Wayward Son" is CAPTIVATING viewing. Unfortunately, at some point during the festivities, I decided that the webcam was stealing my soul, so I immersed in a class of Sprite Zero so I could relax without the the prying eyes of "Big Brother" glaring and judging me.

    Fortunately, I had the foresight to have a notebook on hand. And of course, I was able to take some very coherent notes.What's that? You would like me to share those notes with you? Well, I guess maybe I could...

  6:45 pm- Nothing yet. Just sitting here. Chillin'.

  6:46 pm- Okay, A small army of wombats  have emerged from under the bed.They seem to be friendly. I think I might try and talk to the one wearing the French World War I helmet, he seems to be the leader.

7:05 pm- Okay, I have had a talk with Christophe, and we seem to have reached an accord...They will rule the space underneath the bed(which will be called "Wombattia") and I will not interfere, and they will not cause any trouble for the space outside Wombattia. The discussions got tense for a few minutes there, but luckily cooler heads prevailed.

  7:10pm- Seriously wondering why I EVER listen to any song other than "Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas. It is the hottest jam ever!

 7:15pm- I worry there maybe unrest in Wombattia...I hear a lot of "Rage Against the Machine" coming from under the bed, and there are rumors that Christophe has limited the wombats internet access. Currently all they can watch are "Touched By An Angel" reruns on HULU.

7:29pm-I think I can hear footsteps two blocks over.

  7:40pm- "Once I rose above the noise and confusion, just to a get a glimpse beyond this illusion. i was soaring ever higher...But I flew too high."  Amen, Kerry Livgren.

7:55pm- Christophe is dead, and Wombattia is now being led by Marcel, the leader of the resistance,and a popular wombat mime.

8:05pm-Really enjoying the texture of this bread, man. have you ever, like, FELT bread, man? I bet you haven't.

8:16pm- I think I misjudged the bread. I really don't trust it now.

8:37pm-Wombattia is eerily quiet...I suppose that is due to the mime regime.

9:12pm- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap

9:59pm- IT'S ALMOST 10!!!!!

10:17-Now it's 10:17...How did I miss 10?

 10:34pm- The camera was not to be trusted. It has  been neutralized. huh. Neutralized...That's a fun word to say: neutralizedneutralizedneutralized...

11:24pm- I think there may be more unrest in Wombattia. I have been hearing whispers, and under the mime regime, even that is unlawful. If someone puts on even a James Taylor cd, I fear violence may erupt.

11:33pm-The whispers have grown louder...And I think I hear a wombat humming Nick Drake...I think the end may be near for the mimes.

11:48pm- Turnips

12:19 am- The Mime regime came to a swift and markedly non-silent end. Apparently, Sebastien is now in power, and the corpse of Marcel is being hung from the bedpost.These are truly trying times, my friends.

12:52 am- "Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man, though my mind could think i still was a madman"

1:45 am-Was that bookcase always in the shape of Shelley Winters?

2:26 am- I have  requested an audience with Sebastien, as I fear the continued unrest in Wombattia may soon spill out from under the bed, dealing a rather large harsh to my mellow. At the moment, I don't know if my mellow can handle even the smallest harsh.

2:49 am- Looking out the window, can see the building next door breathing...Good to know it's still alive.

3:07-I have spoken with Sebastien...I think we have reached an uneasy peace...He definitely did not appreciate my shirtlessness, or that I told him to stop throwing his fingernails at me, but I think we will still be able to co-exist.

3:27 am- This Mountain Dew tastes strangely like milk...It is also an odd, white color.

4:17 am- Man, I wish I still had Spirograph.

5:00 am- The wombats have gone.'m not sure where or why, but Wombattia is deserted.I feel sad, but oddly at peace.

5:04 am- I think I'll put on some T. Rex...After all...Life's a gas,ain't it?

I must have dozed off shortly after that. But there you have it.Sandwich Flats is six years old.

Peace, y'all.


B.E. Earl said...

I was rooting for Christophe...

Paticus said...

In the end, he just didn't listen to his wombats.