Wednesday, May 10, 2006

That's Not Our Baby....

Okay, so Saturday afternoon,/evening My Special Lady and I both notice a high pitched whine/buzz/squeal emanating from the baby monitor...My first thought is..."Sweet Jesus,a lemur has broken into the babies' room and is attempting to carry them off into the forest !!"(sadly enough, that really WAS my first thought) But then I realized that they were in the living room with us, so that made the lemur attack MUCH less likely...Truthfully, I was a little disappointed, as I thought that defending the girls from a lemur attack might score me some major points with My Special Lady, and maybe, just MAYBE get me a special interest story in that holy grail of special human interest, PEOPLE magazine !!

     But, I digress....So, just what the FUCK is that sound from the monitor ? I checked and our cell phones were not near it, so it wasn't that...I moved it around the room a little, didn't help any...Our ears were beginning to bleed, and we were going to soon act like extras from "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"... Then we heard a conversation ever so faintly over the monitor...So we came to the conclusion that we were indeed picking up a signal from somewhere else...I tried all sort of permutations to try and fix the problem, I changed the channel on the monitors, I switched out the monitors with our "secondary" set(we bought a second monitor set to have one in the extra room, but that luckily worked with the first monitor, so we only had to use the speaker part)...Nothing worked...So we just figured that at some point the other machine(whatever, wherever it may be) would get turned off, and everything would be hunky dory.
       WRONG !!!!!...Bedtime arrived(much earlier than I would like to admit) and we still had the War Of the Worlds sound effects record playing through the baby monitor, so we resigned ourselves to dealing with it overnight, and then going out on Sunday to try and find another monitor that might be less likely to pick up extraneous signals...Somewhere around 1 a.m, My Special Lady and I are both blasted awake by a SCREAMING, CRYING BABY !!! Our system is that we each have one of the twins each night, so we usually figure out who is crying, and then the person assigned will deal with the baby...Well, this scream was unidentifiable, so we both did the zombie walk ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER END OF THE APARTMENT(which, if you are tired enough is really really far away !!) and enter the girls room, both of us secretly hoping that the baby crying is the other parent's responsibility for the evening...And we see that both babies are fast asleep...We both just kinda stared for few minutes, waiting for Allen Funt or Bob Saget to come out.
      And then it occurs to my Special Lady..."That's not our baby" she says...And for a split second I though we were in a trailer for a new horror/thriller movie...Mother:"THAT'S NOT OUR BABY !!" Father: "Damn you, Genesis Project !!" Voice Over:Coming in May, "The Genesis Project:Who's Baby Is This?"...But then I realized what she was saying: we were picking up someone else's baby crying on our monitor, and man, they must have had the monitor tied to the front of the kid's face, because this shit was LOUD !!!! And it felt like it took the parents forever to come to the rescue...Luckily, that was the only incident that night, and the next morning, I realized that there was a channel control on the receiver as well as the monitor, and when I changed them all, we lost the whine/buzz/squeal for good...Huzzah for me for taking two days to figure that out !! And that is that story... Oh and by the way, this is my 300th post !!! Whoopeee !!! No, no don't get up...A standing ovation is not necessary...

4 comments:

c2 said...

No sir, don't mean maybe!

When I lived at home, my boyfriend and I occasionally had, um, relations, on the phone. One day, my mom told me that the next door neighbors said they could sometimes hear our phone conversations on their baby monitor. I don't know if they specifically meant those types of conversations, but it scared me enough to put a stop to it. Of course, now I fear that the kid will grow up to be a porn star, and it'll be all my fault.

Paticus said...

Your fault ? Your fault ? There are too many porn stars who didn't start their training until faaaar too late, you did that child, and the porn industry a great service, my friend !! Kudos and huzzahs to you !! As for the overheari ng conversations, unfortunately, we got nothing so juicy, but i did have a friend in college who used to walk around town with his cordless phone and try to pick up conversations...And in my first apartment my roommates' cordless phone started picking up other conversations one night..And we heard this couple arguing, but alas, nothing juicier than that...

c2 said...

Well, we were pretty good at it. Some of my best material, I'd say.

Feral Mom said...

A friend of mine had a Very Important Phone Interview interrupted by a CB radio conversation about shaved beavers. She didn't get the job, and I don't think she's ever been the same.