Friday, March 30, 2007

Name That Lyric:Episode XLVI:So, I Have Two Craters In My Back

I'm serious.

My Special Lady noticed that I had some new moles on my back recently, so after a regular Doctor, oh, I'm sorry, a Primary Care Physician appointment and a few rounds of back and forth with the dermatologists' office, I was in yesterday for a "skin check" and a biopsy of the moles.

Now, I was told that it would be a "stick biopsy", I think. Whatever he called it, my Doc...Primary Care Physician, said that it was a simple little thing.

Yeah...Um...No, it wasn't. First of all, they numbed the area with ICE first-How 1700's is THAT ? I thought they were going to use leeches next. Thankfully, there were no leeches. They shot me up with some local anesthetic, and they were on their way. And to be honest, the biopsy didn't hurt at all. They sent me on my way, telling me that if there was "a problem"(the code word for cancer, I guess) they would call me, and if it was nothing, I would get a letter in the mail.

I went about my day. I was kind of expecting my back to start hurting, but it never really did. It twinged a bit when I got in the car to drive home at the end of the day, but it was not terrible pain or anything. It hurt a bit off and on during the evening, but nothing too bad. So, I figured that it was no big deal.

Until I saw my back in the mirror when I was brushing my teeth for bed. For a second I thought that I had just been shot in the back. I had two HUUGE holes back there. I reached around and discovered that I could actually put the tip of my finger in there. YIKES !!!

I had assumed that the Dr. had taken a little slice of the mole, but apparently he had hollowed me out with a melon baller! It freaked me out, man. The Band-Aids had fallen off when I got home, but I figured they probably weren't necessary anymore. Now, I realize I'm probably lucky that one of my kidneys didn't fall out of one of the crevasses in my back !! I feel all weird now. Like there's some sort of portal into my soul or something. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but there are definitely craters in my back. I just thought you would like to know.

Well, on with the game, I guess.

No winner from last week, nobody recognized that

"In this theater that I call my soul
I always play the starring role"

is from "So Lonely" by the recently(at least temporarily)reformed Police.

Onto this week's lyric:
"It's like what my painter friend Donald said to me:
'Stick a fork in their ass and turn 'em over, they're done.' "

Good luck, Crimestoppers !!

1 comment:

c2 said...

Perhaps they're preparing to install ports in you, a la The Matrix.

Seriously, though, I'm glad the procedure didn't hurt, and am keeping my fingers crossed that everything is okay. A friend tells me that Mederma is good to prevent scarring.

And I have absolutely no idea what song that lyric is from.