Thursday, February 21, 2008

Ask Paticus...Round 2

Here we are, Round 2 of Ask Paticus. Let's see our randomly selected question this time.

A Richard Feder of Fort Lee, New Jersey asks: 'Paticus, you seem to be exceptionally awesome. How can someone be so awesome ? "

Good question, Richard. And let me begin my answer by first congratulating you on your keen perception. I am not only awesome, but I am, as you said, "exceptionally awesome". That fact has been verified by an Independent Panel on Awesomeness in Geneva earlier this month.

Now,as to the "how" of my awesomeness, that is a trickier proposition. I wish that I could tell you that all you need to do is look in the mirror and say. "I am fuckin' awesome !!", and it would be true. Alas, it is not. I can tell you from my personal experience, it is a long and winding road to achieve my level of awesomeness. And, quite frankly, a large portion of my awesomeness is innate. I was just born awesome. It was written on my birth certificate.
But there certainly are a few simple guidelines that would make your trip to awesomeness much more comfortable.
1. Eat chili(without beans) as often as possible.
2. Wear comfortable shoes.
3. Always have gum or mints in your pocket.
4. Tell lots of knock knock jokes
5. Brush and floss your teeth at least twice a day.
6. Get lots of sleep.

That's not a gaurantee of awesomeness, but it's a damn fine start. Good luck, Richard Feder of Fort Lee, New Jersey.


Miss Ann Thrope said...

You forgot

"keep a black come in your back pocket."

I swear, if I wasn't around you'd forget your head.

Miss Ann Thrope said...


I am not nearly as awesome as you cuz I typo all the time.