Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Paticus' Present: "Did We Miss Something ?( AKA: There's No Gassee In Tallahassee !!)

Coming up on two week's ago now, My special Lady and I found ourselves in the midst of a pretty near to full blown gasoline panic down here in the 'Hassee.

It all started rather innocently. I had taken the day off in order to shop for a berfday present for My Special Lady and to pick up supplies and such for my twin daughter's 3rd berfday par-tay.

I spent the morning finding gifts for My Special Lady(which went swimmingly, by the way...I found a rare book filled with tasteful nudes of Karl Malden, circa Streets of San Francisco- HOT!), and then she and I were going to go to lunch and shop for the par-tay supplies.
We decided to go to Crispers for lunch(to be truthful, only after we found out that the Rally's was closed for renovations). On the way to Crispers, we passed a gas station, and there was a line of cars at the pumps. I commented on it, but we didn't think that much of it, really.

We ate lunch, and then we ventured out into the wilds of the 'Hassee to pick up par-tay favors, and beverages and such.

We drove past another gas station, and there was a line at the pumps there as well. We both commented again, but we theorized that it was Friday, and there was a home football game that weekend, so perhaps people were gassing up for the weekend.

We decided to go to Sam's Club, and that's when we knew that there was something going on. at the Sam's Club in the 'Hassee, there are two entrances, and due to the fact that a lot of people have been buying gas at Sam's Club since the prices have risen so drastically over the last year and a half or so, combined with the fact that the way the gas pumps are set up is a disaster, they have closed off one of the entrances, but left the exit open. On this particular day, as we were driving toward Sam's we saw several cars lined up at the closed entrance, and then going around the blocked entrance to enter the parking lot on the exit side. (Have I ever told you how much I love people with a sense of entitlement ? "Huh? it's blocked off ? Well, that must be for everyone else! Not big, important ME!" Fuckers.)

As we neared the actual entrance, we could see that the cars were backed up all the way to the street. You could NOT enter the parking lot in one of the two lanes, because the lane was stacked full of cars...WAITING TO BUY GAS!! Now, I'm not great at judging these things, but it's gotta be at least hundred or a hundred fifty yards from one end of the parking lot(where we were) to the other(where the gas pumps are) so that was a lotta cars !!!

We sat at the light, waiting to make a left turn for two light cycles, and then we decided that we would go to Target, and then come back on the right side of the road, because from that side, we should be able to enter the lot, since we did not want to buy gas, and the gas line was in the left lane.

on the way to target, we listened to the radio to see if we could hear the reason for all of this gas purchasing. We thought that maybe Ike had changed directions, and he was planning on visiting the 'Hassee, or perhaps there had been some sort of international incident ? The radio provided no information.

At Target, while we were purchasing light up Elmo necklaces and rings, plus some items for the girls' berfday par-tay, we saw people purchasing multiple gas cans. We thought of asking one of them why they were making such a purchase, but I feared in their fragile state they might consider me a threat and mace or karate chop me to the thorax.

We bought our things at Target and exited, none the wiser to the reasons behind the gas lines, but surer than ever that it was some sort of gasoline panic. As we got back on the road, I half expected to see random fistfights, and people hacking at each other with axes. Thankfully, we saw none of that. But we did see the lines at the gas stations growing ever longer, AND we noticed that a couple of them had taken down the prices from their signs. We, being cynical people, assumed this was so they could freely gouge consumers with no printed evidence. I later learned that what it more likely meant was that they were out of that grade of gasoline. It was not yet 2 p.m., and there were gas stations running out of gas.

We headed back to Sam's and got ourselves into the right lane, and proceeded to sit there for a good half an hour, trying to enter the parking lot at Sam's Club. it was fucking MADNESS! And here's another tidbit, when I got into that line, I was in pretty good shape, gas-wise, but by the end of the afternoon, I was below a quarter of a tank!!

the one positive to waiting in the line was that the radio finally provided us with the information on the situation- This was all due to people being worried about gas prices going up due to Hurricane Ike hitting Texas. A fairly baseless fear,as the guy on the radio told us. He said it might go up about 30 or 40 cents for a few days, but then it would go back down.

Anyways, we finally gained admission to the parking lot at Sam's Club, and we went to pick up our blown up pictures of our children's current favorite characters- Feist, Cinderella, Cookie Monster and the Yellow Submarine. While we waited at the counter, there were Sam's employees there talking about the gas panic, and how this one gas station out on Monroe Street had raised his prices that morning to $5.50 a gallon or something like that, and I kinda guessed that you might have your basis for the panic right there. People see gas at $5.50 a gallon, and then they see it for considerably less, they instantly buy gas. Enough people do that, then other people see the lines, and they figure they better buy gas too. And pretty soon, you have exactly what happened- gas stations run out of gas. Fucking CRAZY!!!!!

I was finally able to buy some on Sunday afternoon, for $ 4.09 a gallon. Bastards. And today, all the gas is back below 3.60 or so, and I think most of the gas stations actually have gas again.

So there you have it, the Story of No Gassee in the 'Hassee !!


Julie said...

Well, it was all worth it for you to come up with the whole "gassee in 'Hassee" phrase.

Paticus said...

Good point.