Wednesday, January 21, 2009

One Of Society's Greatest Inventions, OR an Abomination of Apocalyptic Proportions ?

To tell you the truth, I don't know yet myself. I must admit, my first feeling, upon seeing it, was a feeling of elation.But it was almost immediately joined by a feeling of dread...Should such a thing exist ? My heart screams YES...But my head thinks no.

I suppose you would like to know what I'm going on about, wouldn't you ? Pretty good piquing interest on my part, huh ? I mean, you REALLY want to know what I'm talking about, don't you ? And let's be honest, how often do you really care what I'm talking about ? Not too often, right ? Sure, we both know it's true. I have no allusions.

On Saturday night, My Special lady and I were were returning from our celebratory anniversary meal, and we needed to get some money for the babysitter. I wanted to go to Walgreen's, but she wanted to go to Circle K, and she said, and she always does this, by the way, she said...Oh, well that's not important. We get to the Circle K, and instead of paying fees for the ATM, I decide that it's smarter to buy something we really don't need and get cash back...That'll show those fatcats in Washington. So we pick up a tweezers, and My Special Lady goes to pay for it and get cash.

I decide to scout the store in case some kind of deadly mist descends and we are trapped in the store, I'll be able to play the role of the wise, knowledgeable hero..."You, irritating businessman, go get me some of the matches I saw on aisle 3, they are next to the toilet paper." Stuff like that. I often plan for Stephen King plot devices to inflict themselves on my life... I am TOTALLY prepared if my cat ever goes rabid and traps me in my car.

As I am scouting the store, I see it. on a large counter top, next to the coffee pots and the slushie a MILKSHAKE MACHINE. You heard me correctly. There is a self-serve Milkshake machine at the Circle K. Crazy, right ? Now, you see what I was talking about. On the one hand, how very cool would it be to be able to pour your own milkshake ? But, then again, what the fuck is in there ? What are the odds that there are people on the other side of the wall tossing in ingredients in order to make my shake ? Slim, at best...Unless we are talking another potential Stephen King scenario....And there again, do I really WANT a demonic shake ? or a shake made of people or something ? I don't think I do.

I was not able to purchase a shake at that time, as I was chock full of fondue from dinner. I do promise to go back and try one of those shakes, and I will give you a full report.


Lauren said...

I don't care what's in there! I WANT A 72OZ. MILKSHAKE THAT I POUR MYSELF!!!!!!!

Paticus said...

Then get thyself to a Circle K!!!

Avitable said...

I'm doing a search for local Circle Ks as we speak!

c2 said...

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Animal said...

Hey, just linking over from your recent award at Gone Feral. I don't know whether it's a great idea or a bad one...but I DO like that you feel the need to put yourself in Kingian situations. Just stay away from old, abandoned trucks in fields...they can roll forward and squot your head like a pumpkin.

Paticus said...

Avitable- keep me posted !

c2- amen to that!

Animal- Nice to see you, sir! i do loves me some Feral.Thank you for what i consider sound advice. And thanks for the visit and comment!