Wednesday, September 02, 2009

You Want FANGS With That ?

Before we get started: You wanna know how special I am ? I just received an e-mail from Office Depot, and they are having a special sale JUST FOR ME!!! That's right beyotches! I have my own special sale at THE Office Depot! I have arrived! All the post-its and DYMO tape I can eat!!

So, I don't know if you have heard, but I have decided to write a vampire novel, because I feel that it is really  a horribly under represented genre at the moment, and you know me, I do nothing if not represent!

  I have decided to tie some teen angst to it, and  the lovely Elizabeth(a muse) has suggested that maybe I also throw into the mix the relationships between vampires an non-vampires!I decided to go with a really sultry, sexy setting, so of course, it will take place in the suburbs of Fargo, North Dakota.

  And I need to come up with some names for my characters, of course.

 there will be the main female character(human) and I will give her something really Eunice.Eunice Hoffenblatz.
  There is my main male character(vampire)...This where I'm a little stumped, as I have a few names that I like. Maybe I can run them by you folks, and we'll see what you think:

   Baron Von Toothington
   Clarence Fangworthy
   Blaine Simmons
   Bitey McBitingbites
   Pale Coldskin
   Don Draculangeledwardcullenspikedraper

 I'm figuring I'll have the vampire family run a fast food restaurant that is only open for dinner(takes care of the sunlight thing), and perhaps have the "dad" vampire teach night classes in phlebotomy at the local junior college.I figure between the junior college and the restaurant, lots of chances to interact with the humans, whom they just want to accept them.

 I plan to call it..."You want FANGS With That ?"

 I am so horribly excited !!!


World of Julie said...

I am already preordering on Amazon.

I'd vote for Blaine Simmons, which is the greatest vampire name, clearly, except that it's also the name of a kid in Henry's first grade class. (A name which causes me to shout silently in my head, "But what about prom, Blaine? What about PROM?!?")

Paticus said...

I thought of Pretty in Pink,too.