If I Told You, I Would Have To Kill You...

Have I ever told you about the time that I single handedly put down a team of ninjas?

  Yeah, I never actually did that. I did, however, once single-handedly watch a bunch of ninja movies in a row. HA!

  I’m kidding, of course. And I’m also obviously not at liberty to discuss my days working for “The Company”. So, no stories of ninjas, or of bedding exotic women around the globe.

  I simply cannot tell you about the time that I killed a man with a cassette tape(Neil Diamond-Hot August Night), because, of course, such a thing did not ever happen.

  If you heard that I one time thwarted a coup in a small South American country simply by showing the series finale of “Freaks and Geeks” to the rebels, I would have to look at you in shock, because I could not believe such a thing would ever happen.

  So, I’m afraid I really have nothing to tell you. Oh, wait! There was this one time that I suggested a movie to baseball great Don Mattingly in my local video store in New Jersey. The movie? “Singles“. Pretty kooky, huh ?