Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Well, What Do We Have Here?

The other day, we were cleaning up the house, and I moved an old bookcase, and lo and behold, there, among the dust bunnies, paper clips, rubber bands, and a couple of pennies was this old blog!!

  I scooped it up. wiped it off with a handy Clorox bleach disinfectant wipe, and voila! Good as new.

    So, I cut my ear whilst I was shaving my head the other day. I was just out of the shower(which is where I shave my head) and I noticed that I had done a poor shaving job around my right ear, so I grabbed the razor and proceeded to shave the area around the top of my ear.
  Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I happen to have a rather bad habit: If I have not cut myself shaving any time recently, I tend to be rather cavalier about shaving. I tend to forget the damage that the sharp, five bladed instrument I hold in my hand can do. This is precisely what happened on Sunday morning.

  I was kinda casually and(way too) quickly ridding my head of some hair, and, BAM, I nicked the top of my ear. It was one of those where I saw the blood before I felt the pain of the cut. I grabbed a bit of toilet paper and put it on the wound and went about my business.

  Well, the damn thing would NOT STOP BLEEDING!! I replaced the toilet paper three or four times, and after 2 and 1/2 hours, it was finally done bleeding. Crazy.

 I guess it really isn't that great a story. Okay, I'll see you later.

Monday, June 09, 2014

Dramatic Tension!!!

It was a dark and stormy night.

Suddenly, a shot rang out!

A woman screamed!

A screen door banged against the frame!

 Lightning flashed!!

The light glinted off the blade of a knife!

A coyote howled!!

A window shattered!!

The car would not start!!

Someone turned the door handle menacingly!!

The cook dropped the dishes!!

The cat skittered across the floor!!

The children cowered in the closet!!

 The killer paused at the top of the stairs!!

 Thunder clapped!!

The lights went out !!

The phone line went dead!!

And I don't remember anything after that.....

Wednesday, June 04, 2014

On The New York Rangers...

So, tonight the New York Rangers face off against the Los Angeles Kings in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final. The Rangers are in the Final for the first time since 1994, when Messier came to town and broke the 54 year hex that the Rangers seemed to be under in regards to that beautiful silver cup.
  I remember that spring of 1994 very well. The Rangers beat the Islanders in the first round, which was awfully sweet, as Islander fans had always been the loudest screamers of "1940"(the last time the Rangers had hoisted Lord Stanley's Cup). Then they beat the Capitals. Then they met the Devils in the Eastern Conference Finals, a series in which they fell behind 3 games to 2 with a Game 6 to be played in Jersey. This, of course, led to Messier's Guarantee that they would win Game 6, and return to the Garden for a Game 7. And man, oh man, did Messier ever deliver on that promise.

This led to Game 7, of course. A game that the Rangers were leading 1-0 until the Devils tied it with 7.7 seconds to go. 7.7 seconds. I can tell you this, I, for one, was sure that this was the curse rearing its' ugly head again. All of messier's Game 6 heroics had vanished. As a Rangers fan, I was sure that they were now going to lose this game. Until they didn't:

  My favorite memory of that game)besides the game winning goal), was my Dad announcing that he could no longer take this, and taking the dog for a walk between the overtimes. Thankfully, he did return.

  I watched most of the Finals that year while driving solo across country. I did miss being able to watch the games with my Dad. When I was a little kid, it seems that the Rangers played every Sunday night, and I remember watching those Sunday night games with my Dad. Now, for all I know, it only happened once, but it certainly stuck with me.
    I watched Game 7 of the 1994 Stanley Cup Finals in Denver, Colorado, with my friends Jack Nolan and Jon Rosen (also my then-girlfriend/now-wife's cousin). Jon was working at the bar at the time. The moment the Game ended, I went and called my dad on the pay phone(remember those?) and we celebrated a bit over the phone.
    Well, shit...I'm a lot older now than I was then. My Dad passed away in 2007, so if the Rangers can beat the heavily favored Kings and hoist that Cup, I won't be able to call him and talk about it. That's a bummer.

  Well, I don't really know what the point of this post is, except that the Rangers are in the Finals, I am ridiculously excited about it, and I miss terribly the man who introduced me to hockey and to loving the New York Rangers.

     LET'S GO RANGERS!!!!!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

It's That Time of Year Again!! (Wanna See Your Name Shaved Into My Head?)

Once again, I am raising money for the St. Baldrick's foundation by agreeing to have my head shaved.

  Here is the EXTRA incentive this year: If I reach my goal of $3,500.00, the person with the highest donation will get to choose what initials, name, logo I get shaved into my head. Now, I do have a job, so we will need to keep things g-rated.

  If you are willing and able to donate, here is where you can go and do so:


The link has been acting un-link-like at times, so you may need to copy and paste into your browser.I apologize for that inconvenience.

 Thanks in advance for your generosity.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Um...Hi...My Name Is Paticus...

And, um....This is my blog. I guess I have let it go to the dogs a bit, haven't I? Oops.

  First off, I guess I owe you all a Happy Memorial Day, Happy 4th of July, Happy Arbor Day, Happy Halloween, Happy Labor Day, Happy Thanksgiving(Canadian & American), Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, And Happy New Year !!
  Also, Happy Birthday to those who celebrated since March 29th.

  I really wish that I had some great, dramatic explanation for why I have not blogged in just short of a year, but I don't. I'm just a lazy sack of shit.

  Some stuff did happen- I participated in my first Fantasy Football League- Came in a respectable 4th.

  We got a new kitty, goes by the name of T. Jedward(the T stands for Tennessee). Here's a coupla pictures:

 He's a pretty good guy. We got him because some asshole threw him out of a moving car and he ended up at the vet where we take our dog.

   I did find a weird lump in my armpit in November and had it removed last month. Turned out to be a lypoma. Which to me sounds bad, but is not. So that was a good thing. Scar is healing up nicely.

  My girls are growing up fantastically. I think they get their brains from their Mom, because they are both VERY smart.

 I don't know that I have a lot more to report, but I'm gonna try to blog some more...I think I might even bring back my  Lyric and Movie Quote Games...That okay with youse guys?

Friday, March 29, 2013

The Story of Easter(aka Bunnies With Psychedelic Eyeballs)

  And here is the Easter Origin Story from the Sandwich Flats Vaults:

I hope everybody is having a nice  Easter, and for those of you who do not celebrate Easter, I hope you are having a good day of thinking about why you have chosen to go straight to hell...I'm kidding, I'm kidding

Today is Easter Sunday, the day that Catholics and Christians alike celebrate Jesus driving the bunnies out of Ireland...Of course you all know that the colorfully decorated or "dyed" eggs that we hide from the children as a fun and loud and messy game nowadays all started as a method for Jesus to rid Ireland of bunnies, as the bunnies were ruining the potato crop, and knocking over whiskey bottles and pints of Guinness, those furry, twitchy nosed little bastards !! Sorry, I lost my head there for a moment...But where was I ? Oh yes, Jesus driving the bunnies out with colorfully dyed eggs....It's a little known fact that bunnies eyes work as prisms...Light enters their iris', and just refracts all over the god-damned place, it's like rabbits are continually tripping on one of those"'psychedelic drugs" that those smelly bearded types are so fond of, you know the ones I'm talking about...But Jesus figured out that if you scattered brightly decorated eggs all over Ireland, the bunnies would see them, and the overdose of refracted light would temporarily stun the bunnies, and then they could be stuffed in sacks to be thrown into the River Shannon, and then families gathered at the river Shannon to scoop out the sacks as they floated by and all of Ireland had boiled(of course) rabbit for dinner...

So that's the story of the first Easter...Of course nowadays it's all about jelly beans and chocolate and we gather the eggs from the fields rather than the stunned bunnies, and there is some sort of vague religious celebration attached to it, but it all started with renegade bunnies, and a hippie taking advantage of their psychedelic eyeballs...Happy Easter everyone !!!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013


How is everybody?
  I'm doing alright, thanks. I want to thank you for the kind words on the loss of our cat, Fenwick. He was a good guy, and he is sorely missed. I did neglect to mention that he is named after Kevin Bacon's character in Diner, so store that away if you are ever at a Fenwick the cat trivia night at your local watering hole.

  What else can I tell you?

  Oh, I look like this now.

 Like last year, I raised money for St. Baldrick's (they are working to cure childhood cancer) by agreeing to shave my head. In order to up my donations, I also agreed to shave my beard and mustache(which I have not done since October 2000- for a Halloween costume, I was Velma from Scooby Doo), and eventually, also my legs. I raised $2,900.00, so that's not too shabby. You can still donate to my page, so if anyone is so inclined:   http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/582551/2013

   My daughters are Daisys, so I have also been knee deep in Girl Scout cookies, as My Special Lady is the Cookie Mom for the troop. It is both a good and bad thing that one can buy a box of Girl Scout cookies whenever one wants.

  Don't really have a lot else to say. Digging  "The Walking Dead" and "Justified", awaiting "Game of Thrones' and "Mad Men". Listening to a bunch of Izzy Stradlin music.

  How's about youse guys? Hope you're all doing well. I'll leave with a tune from Izzy's first post GnR album, Izzy Stradlin & the Ju Ju Hounds.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Fenwick T. Cat- 1/31/1995-2/26/2013

  Yesterday afternoon we said goodbye to our friend and cat of 18 years, Fenwick.

  I remember when we first got him, we could hold him easily in one hand. He actually hid behind the toilet in our apartment for two days when we first brought him home. He was the product of a show Himalayan's dalliance with some alley cat. He was the runt of his litter...And he was our Fenwick.

  He was such a sweet natured boy. We brought a second cat into the family, didn't ruffle him a bit. Brought twin babies into the family 7 years ago, didn't ruffle him a bit. Recently brought a dog into the family, didn't ruffle him a bit. He just didn't let things bother him.

  He was a bit of a fraidy cat, I suppose. He had a tendency to hide out a bit if new folks came to the house, but I always thought that was pretty smart on his part. If they were sleeping at our house, he would usually sneak out and inspect them while they slept. He would eventually warm up, if someone was there for a few days.He did avoid our daughters for the first couple of years, but he knew that patience would pay off, once they were old enough to lavish affection on him.

  He was an indoor cat through and through. Once when he was a year old maybe, a friend of ours left the door to our apartment open for about a half an hour. Fenwick got out, but he was discovered sitting right outside the door under a bench. he had not gone anywhere.

   I will miss his fluffy fur and his purring. I'll miss him taking the occasional nap on me, and I will even miss his LOUD announcement that he was hungry every morning at 6 A.M. when I would emerge from our bedroom. I sure missed it this morning. The silence hit me like a ton of bricks.

  Farewell, Fenwick. I hope you enjoyed being in our lives as much as we enjoyed having you here.

   Say hello to Phil and Arlo for me. Reast in peace, my boy.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Let's Step Into the WayBack Machine....

Back to the days of HBO's "Video Jukebox"...Does anyone remember that? It was a half hour video show that was on  HBO back in the early '80's.
   Before Cablevision of North Jersey added this thing called Music Television(MTV for short, I think it was called), this was this fat little kid from New Jersey's lifeline for music videos.
  This was also a time when HBO used to show short films in between movies, which introduced me to the genius of "Hardware Wars" and Closet cases of The Nerd Kind", but that is a post for another day.
   Now, you may be wondering why I all of a sudden have early '80's HBO on my brain...Well, I'll tell you. Yesterday, my brain remembered a song, and wanted to hear it, so I sought it out, and it is a song that I distinctly remember first hearing(and seeing, of course) on HBO's Video Jukebox. What song was it? It was "Pilot of the Airwaves" by Charlie Dore, of course. Wanna hear(see) it?
    Here it is:

Wednesday, January 09, 2013


Wow, has it really been 4 months since I posted?

  I had no idea it had been that long. Oh well. Happy New Year, and all that jazz.

  As you may have guessed, I am not dead. Sorry to disappoint. I'm still here, I guess i just went on some sort of blog hiatus(blogiatus?) that I didn't necessarily plan.

  So, I am here to tell you that I am back! Energized, and rarin' to blog!!!

 Okay, not really. Well, I am back, I hope. And I plan to return to blogging, but I would hesitate to say I am energized and rarin' to blog. But, I did come back here,and log in and click on "New Post", so I guess that must mean something.

  I've been listening to a lot of Neil Young, and that has been a very good thing. Watching a whole lot of "Portlandia".

  Just found out that John Cusack doesn't like "Better off Dead"...That made me a little sad.

  Alright, I best go, but I will try and be in touch tomorrow.