Thursday, March 31, 2005

I Never Learn

How many times had I been told ? Ten...maybe twenty million times ? No, that's just an exaggeration for dramatic effect, but let's just say I had been told quite a few times...did I listen ? Ooooooh noooo, not me, I am not the listening type.
I mean, what the hell was I thinking ? Did I have my head up my ass ? No, because as we know, that is physically impossible...I was absent-minded, I guess...maybe that's the best way to put it...yeah, that's it...I was absent mind was in-absentia...looking back on it, I should have guessed when I called roll at 6 a.m. and my mind didn't answer. Eyes ? Here ! Nose ? Present ! Mouth ? Aqui ! Mind ?...mind ?....MIND?!?!?? answer. Well, I just figured it was problem, I had started many a day with my mind asleep, I figured it would catch up later.
Needless to say, I would soon find out it was worse than my mind just being asleep...much worse. I went about my way, blissfully unaware of any trouble...that is until I bumped into Albert Einstein, which was VERY odd as he had been dead for fifty years or so...but he looked good..we had a perfectly cordial chat...discussed the New York Mets and the chances of Arrested Development getting a third season, and then Albert grabbed me by the shoulder and said..."My dear boy, I do believe you left your mind at home." I nodded, and Albert smiled...I thanked him for that valuable morsel of information, and excused myself to retrieve my brain.
I immediately ran into the street, and was almost hit by a cab. " Hey, lost your mind or something ?" the cabbie yelled. "Why yes, I have, fine cab driving citizen" I said. "And thank you for your concern...but I'm on my way to retrieve it right now ! " And I went on my way.
I arrived back home to a very disturbing note on my kitchen table:
I cannot live in your head anymore. It smells in there. You never clean your god-damned ears. Besides, I cannot handle watching "Sifl & Olly" anymore. So long, Bucko !!
Mr. Cerebellum.

Mr. Cerebellum ? Why so formal ? Had I really made things that bad for him ? I felt awful. I vowed to set things luck would have it, there was a trail of cerebral fluid leading out the back door of the house. I followed it for a long time, and it lead me deep into the woods, where I made a horrifying mind had wandered into a bear was mind wad dead.
I was stunned...I didn't know how to feel...i slowly wandered back to the house...I climbed into bed and lit a cigarette...i dozed off, burning down the house...what was i thinking, smoking in bed ? HAD I LOST MY MIND ?


Anonymous said...

Very cool blog you got! I just added you to my bookmarks!

I have a great article resource you might want to check out.

Anonymous said...

Find great deals on eBay with the search engine


plasticdoc said...

Hi:, Just came across your blog. Intersting post and good looking site. I'm definitely going to visit again! I recently set up a new website just about San Diego dentists There are a lot of interesting dental articles. We will also feature Tijuana dentists If you have the time, please stop by and let us know how we can improve the site. Bob

Anonymous said...

Discount Hydro!

Anonymous said...

The best source for hard to find and specialty gardening products!