Monday, April 04, 2005

Did Quizno's Buy Burger King ?

...or has Burger King reached the conclusion that the way to sell food is to consistently creep people out...has anyone seen the new Burger King commercials, with that maniacally smiling oversized head having burger King character ? Jiminy Christmas that is disturbing...couldn't they just find a guy with a beard ? I mean, I think it might even be less disturbing if his head was much larger than your normal human head, you know, like a sports mascot or something...but it's not larger enough...it's just large enough to be really disturbing...like the Burger King has some sort of glandular disorder or something...and again, when I think glandular disorder, I generally do not skip immediately to a sesame seed bun, you know what I'm saying ? And the tone and setting of the commercials is unsettling as well, there's one where a guy wakes up in the morning and this monarch with some sort of genetic disorder and a downright sinister grin is sitting up in bed next to him...it just has a Silence Of the Lambs feel to it...and again, that imagery doesn't make me want a burger(which is quite an accomplishment, because I want a burger MOST of my waking hours-and a good portion of my sleeping ones)-it makes me hope that the gentleman is brave enough to report this regal assault to the proper authorities...Is it possible I'm missing a larger historical perspective ? Is Burger King actually making a comment on the incestuous nature of monarchies ? Maybe they are on the cutting edge of social commentary and insight ? But then what the hell is Hootie doing in one of their ads ?

6 comments:

elizabeth said...

Patrick, you and I disagree about EVERY fast food commercial apparently. I LOVE that commercial where that guy wakes up in bed with the King. It is disturbing and freaky, but that's just the charm of it... I haven't been to a Burger King in years, but if I were a red-meat eater I might consider it on the basis of that commercial alone. (I don't, however, like the porno-fantasy BK commercial with that guy trying to be Tracy Morgan singing about some sandwich around the cheerleaders/ farmer girls jumping around. That I find offensive for a number of reasons.)

On a related note, has anyone else noticed the mass-closings of Burger Kings in Chicago being re-opened as "Burger Delights"? The one on Broadway and Foster recently re-closed and re-opened again with the name "Chicken Delights". What the heck is going on? Why can't anyone open a Jimmy Johns or Potbelly's within walking distance of my apt? Is that too much to ask?

Paticus said...

Well, Like I always say, if you can't agree, disagree...and the guy singing in that other comeercial is Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish...was there actually a Hootie ? well, that guy is the singer from Hootie and The Blowfish anyway...perhaps the Burger Kings are all changing their names because they don't want to be associated with the genetically mutated King from those commercials...I know what I'm talking about here, as someone with a larger than average head(Nasa needs to make any hats or glasses I might want to wear, my winter caps are actually laundry bags) I was fired from a job at the drive-thru window at my hometown burger joint(it was called Burger-osity-their specialty was a 1/2 lb burger with eggs, bacon and pancakes on it-thye called it the Arterialsclerosis) because people were beginning to think that my huge head may have been caused by some sort of hormone in the meat they used for the burgers-not good for business, as you can probably guess...I'm over it now, after much counseling and several address changes, I can accept that my gargantuan cranium makes me who I am...but I still can't get a job selling burgers...bastards...

Anonymous said...

I hate that Hootie ad too: pimped out dining with a Teletubby-esque sun at BK? NO WAY!

The BK on Bradway between Winona and Foster (maybe closer to Berwyn?) is now "Chicken Delights." It might have been BUrger Delight for a short time. I recall reading, in the Trib - I think - that BK prohibits former franchise owners from opening a burger place in the same location as their former BK franchise.

Anonymous said...

Damn, I'm no good at this blogging thing. I intended to put my name on the 'pimped' comment but I clicked 'publish' before I realized my error. Doh!
-Susan

Feral Mom said...

Mmmmmm. Burgers.

elizabeth said...

one more thing, you goddamn gold-coast library people now have access to a potbelly's in very close proximity. i noticed last night there is now one at the 900 n michigan mall... bastards waited until i took a job on the south side...