Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Paticus' Past:Volume 11: The Broken Leg

It's still fun to see the look on people's faces...

"I broke my leg once." I'll say.

"Really ? How ?" they will inquire.

"Got hit by a dog." That's when I get the look. I can tell that most people want to burst out laughing(and a few people have)but they don't want to seem heartless, I suppose.

You're all laughing now, aren't you ? Sure you are...It's easy when you don't have to see the pain in my eyes...The terror as I relive those moments. You heartless bastards.

What's that ? You "gotta hear this story" ? Fine, I'll tell it.

The year was 1973( I know because I was 2 and a half at the time, so it was probably somewhere around March or April...Perhaps on a night much like this...), America was perhaps saying goodbye to NBC's hit game show Concentration, and hello to a little album called Dark Side of the Moon by a visually repellent quartet from England, Pink Floyd, and a young Irish-American boy did not want to stay in his crib in suburban New Jersey.

My parents had guests over(they may have been relatives..It's all hazy, amid the pain and the subsequent painkillers), and young Paticus could not get to sleep knowing that these people were not paying attention to him. Apparently, young Paticus did not like to go to sleep. He was also not fond of the dark, so his Mom would leave the door to his room open, letting the hall light give him some comfort. This allowed young Paticus to converse with anyone who may walk by his room.

My oldest sister is fond of telling a tale wherein she was walking past my room, and she hears,"Pssst.." coming from the crib. As she turns toward me, I said"Do you want some candy ?" Her immediate thought wass,"where did he get candy". as she got closer, I said it again..."You want some candy?" As she got to the crib, I held out my hand and there were ten little black pieces of something in my hand. She took them, and realized that I had pulled all of the fingers off of a rubber King King doll, and was offering them to her as the "candy".

But I digress, on this particular night,young Paticus can hear the people downstairs having fun, and he wants to be a part of it. So, young Paticus makes an impassioned plea to his parents, and they finally relent. I think this falls into the category of..."Be careful what you want".

My Mom came and got me, and I don't know how long I was down there, but apparently, our dog, a German Shepard named Casey, was also very excited by the fact that the family had company, and he was running laps through the house.

On one of his laps, I apparently stepped in his way, and in my Mother's words..."Went flying into the air, and when you landed..well, you landed wrong." I think "landed wrong" might be a bit of an understatement... I broke my left femur.

I was in traction for 6 weeks, I think, and then I was in a cast for another few weeks(maybe six as well, I don't remember). I have been told that while I was in traction, I called the nurses "girlies" and I refused to let them come near me, as my Mom was going to take care of me.

One of the few things I do remember is that when they took the cast off of my leg, I refused to get down from the table,a s I was afraid I would break my leg again. I remember that fear.

There you have it, Crimestoppers, the Tale Of Paticus' Broken Leg.


Anonymous said...

You must have been more hazy from those painkillers than we realized at the time, (Apparentlly Johnson & Johnson used to make acid laced little orange-flavored baby aspirin.), 'cuz the dog you had your forever etched in your selective memory run-in with was a scrawny found-at-the-pound Mutt named Dudley. The German Shepherd named Kasey, (Yeah, it was spelled with a K.) was a rather well-fed sedentary dog who NEVER ran laps around anything. (Especially since he was long dead and buried at the time of your now infamous crash.)
Sorry to ruin your broken legged trip down Memory Lane. The truth can be ugly, but it's got to be told.
I choose to remain anonymous at this time, but I may be in touch to collect my royalty check over the "Pssst. You want some Candy?" portion of Paticus' Past: Vol. 11. Hugs to J,L&R. Peace out.

Paticus said...

Anonymous(if that is your real name),
wow. i don't even remember us owning a dog named Dudley. I didn't remember the other dog either, I just had at least heard of him. I appreciate you setting the record straight.