Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Arachnid Flashback....

And not the good "oh look at that rainbow spider over there, dancing, juggling and singing "new Speedway Boogie" kind. No, this was the bad kind of flashback.It almost sent me cowering into a corner, with a look on my face not unlike that girl from the beginning of "The Ring".

Before I tell you about it, go here to learn the back story. It will only take a few minutes. Go on, I'll wait.

All done ? Okay. Here's what happened. It w as late Saturday night, somewhere around 1 a.m., I think. I was watching women's beach volleyball from the Olympics and I was re-adding music folders to my ITunes.
I was a little bit hungry, so I decided to eat some of the grapes that we had bought at the supermarket. I walked into the kitchen, removed the bag of grapes from the refrigerator, and took a small bunch out of the bag. As I turn toward the sink to rinse them, I glimpse something white on one of the grapes. I separate that grape out and my blood runs cold. It's a fucking spider sac.
Suddenly, I am back in that apartment on Westwood Blvd. and I am watching thousands of baby spiders scurry all over the grapes I am holding. I blink, and return to the present. there are no baby spiders yet, but that is definitely something spider related on the grapes. So I toss that grape and a few of the surrounding grapes into the garbage disposal and let that motherfucker chew for a few minutes.
Then, I grab the spray nozzle and I wash the rest of the grapes like they are Jaclyn Smith being deloused in the prison episode of "Charlie's Angels". Then, I scan the grape bag and the counter top for any witnesses, but there did not seem to be any. I think I got away with it this time.

5 comments:

c2 said...

Spooky--I was just thinking of your grapes/spider story Monday night, as I bought grapes, and even organic ones. No spiders or sacs, though.

Paticus said...

c2- i really should stand as a cautionary tale for grape buyers everywhere.

c2 said...

I'm impressed you still buy them, actually.

Paticus said...

I loves me some grapes!

c2 said...

Do you ever freeze 'em for a cool snack on a hot day? Fantastico!