Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Irish SodaBread: A Paticus Cooking Adventure...

Okay. Perhaps "Cooking Adventure" is a bit of an exaggeration. It was actually quite uneventful...Except for the ninjas. Did I neglect to tell you about the ninja attack ? Oh, snap, it was crizz-azay!
  I went to the pantry to get some flour for the sodabread(which has baking soda in it, but no Coke or Sprite or nothing, in case you were wondering) and what did I happen upon but a group of ninjas, apparently dispatched to assassinate me! On a Sunday, I mean, c'mon, how about a day of damn rest, huh ?

  Well, we commenced to fighting, and I'll tell you what, my enemies must have shopped at Donnie's Discount Ninjas, because these guys were nothing! I don't mean to brag, but you should not be able to put down a trained ninja with a wire whisk, you know what I mean ?

  Well, I disposed of the bodies, and returned to the mundane task of baking the sodabread. I started mixing up my ingredients. Just as I was adding the buttermilk, I see the first scorpion come scuttling across the floor. I sigh and turn around to see an whole army of scorpions charging across the floor towards me. I know that this the work of one of my most industrious nemesises(nemesii ?) Baron von Vestinpustule. 

Fortunately, I knew that buttermilk was toxic to scorpions, so I simply took the bottle and sprayed the little buggers. then I swept them up and went back to work on the sodabread.

  I was able to get the ingredients mixed properly(or so I thought) and placed them in the greased skillet. It looked like this:

I placed it into the oven and relaxed for a bit. While I was trying to relax, I had a brief run in with a rather pedestrian cyborg(latex skin ? Really ? How very 1986.), and some mixed up an antidote for a poison that was delivered via blowdart by a young man driving past my house on a bicycle. Then, it was time to take out the sodabread!! Here is the finished product!

It looked tasty, smelled tasty, and even tasted tasty, but it had some continuity problems. It kinda fell apart. I don't know if it's because I did not dough hook it enough or if I dough hooked it too much, or if I didn't cook it long enough, but there was definitely something wrong with it. dang.

  The corned beef, cabbage and taters were good though. As were the bottles of Harp.

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