100 Things About Me

Here it is, 100 Things about me... I'm not sure, but I think I'm the first person to ever do one of these.



100. I was almost named Sean, but apparently my Father would not agree to it.
99. I broke my leg when I was 2 ½
98. I never knew either of my Grandmothers.
97. I am the youngest of 6 children.
96. I hate lima beans. I cannot swallow them, they make me gag.
95. I am the father of twin girls, born in 2005.
94. My daughters were born on my 35th birthday.
93. I didn’t know I needed glasses until I failed the eye test for my driver’s permit.
92. I am a Deadhead.
91. I am Irish American.
90. All of my grandparents were born in Ireland.
89.I am a die hard New York Mets fan.
88. I am a die hard Dallas Cowboys fan.
87. I care very little about Pro Basketball.
86. I was once robbed at gunpoint.
85. I have been in 4 car accidents in my life.
84. I was driving in 3 of them.
83. ½ of one of them was my fault.
82. I cry at the end of “It’s a Wonderful Life”
81. I shook hands with Gabriel Byrne in a bar in NYC.
80. I have had my car searched by the police.
79. They were looking for weapons.
78. My name sometimes appears on watch lists at airports.
77. I was once accused of facilitating a robbery.
76. I am married.
75. I have walked out of one movie in my life.
74. I used to lie about going to church when I was kid. I would show up, grab a bulletin(“proof” I was there) and walk right out.
73. I once had a Nun tap my mom on the shoulder and tell her that I could not receive communion because I was chewing gum. I was very lucky that day that my Mom could not shoot lasers with her eyes.
72. I am a Type 2 diabetic.
71. I once caught my balls in my zipper.
70. I can tell you first hand-balls bleed quite a bit when caught in a zipper.
69. I drove from New Jersey to California by myself.
68. I once suggested a movie to Don Mattingly in a video store in my hometown.
67.I am phobic of spiders.
66.I am realizing that 100 things is a lotta god-damned things !!
65. I like the taste of Pepto-Bismol.
64. I once caught my thumb on fire lighting Pledge with a lighter.
63. Twins do not run in my family, they are the result of scientific intervention.
62. I once invented(along with two friends) a new hors d’oeuvres that consisted of a Ritz cracker, spray cheese and a Rolo. It was fan-fucking-tastic.
61. My first concert was the Kinks on their “State of Confusion” tour.
60. My first semester of college, I got one of each grade(A,B,C,D,F)
59. That gave me a C average, which kept me off probation.
58. I had a math class that met on Saturday morning, I rarely went.
57. That’s the class I got the F in.
56. The next semester, I had to take the class again, and again, I got it on Saturday.
55. I never went on Saturday, but this time I got a “C”.
54. I realize that I am cheating a bit with how I breakup some of these things, but hellfuck, 100 things is a lotta god-damned things !
53. I have over 200 Simpsons figures that speak when placed into dioramas.
52. I have every episode of the Simpsons on videotape. Yes, videotape.
51. I once played Santa Claus in the senior holiday skit.
50. I worked on a farm for a summer.
49. I didn’t know how to tie a tie until I was 24.
48. I had enough room for my wisdom teeth to come in, but the top ones both broke and needed to be pulled.
47. I delivered liquor as a summer job, and I lost at least two clipboards because I left them on the top of the car.
46. I also got lost quite a few times.
45. I am allergic to cats.
44. I am also allergic to pollen and most perfumes.
43. I always eat the ears of chocolate bunnies first.
42. I believe that I was the first person to use the phrase/word ‘hellfuck”
41. # 43 is a lie.
40. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.
39. I think I could eat bacon at every meal and never grow tired of it.
38. I lied in # 40 as well.
37. It was a Wendy’s bathroom.
36. 37 is a lie too.
35. I have never gotten busy in any major food chain’s bathroom.
34. When I was in high school, I handed out my autograph and told people it would be worth something someday.
33. Regarding # 71 & 70-It’s also not nearly as funny as they tried to make it seem in “There’s Something About Mary”.
32. I wrote a horror trilogy when I was in high school.
31. It was about this psycho killing stars at a major awards show..
30. We filmed the first two scenes of Part I, but then production fell apart.
29. The scripts are lost forever.
28. I also made a short film called “The Marlboro Man” when I was a freshman in high school.
27. That video still exists.
26. Actually, the two scenes from my horror film still exist as well.
25. Wow. This list sure shows how boring a person I am.
24. I used to sit and inhale Mr. Sketch markers for hours.
23. The mango was always my favorite.
22.On a dare in high school, I only shaved half of my face for two weeks.
21. I had to have a root canal in one of my front teeth because the filling that my EX dentist put in “attacked” the nerve in the tooth.
20. I once had an infected toenail that got so bad I almost lost my toe.
19. I had a cyst removed from the root of one of my teeth.
18. I almost fainted during the cyst removal because I opened my eyes and realized that all of the blood that was on my apron and on the front of the oral surgeons gown was mine.
17. It was A LOT of blood.
16. The cyst was not cancerous.
15. I started smoking when I was 17.
14. I smoked regularly for 10 years.
13. I quit in 1997 when I had bronchitis that turned into pneumonia.
12. I have had smoking bouts since then, but have not gone back to it regularly.
11. My freshman year of college, my Mom and Dad sent me a laundry basket full of Easter candy and stuff.
10. I once ran into someone from my hometown in Jersey at a Dead show in Indiana.
09. I hate peas.
08. I love mashed potatoes.
07. # 9 is not a lie.
06. I once sold the handle from a gas pump for a dollar at a garage sale.
05. I once pretended to be sick so I did not have to perform a roller skating routine in gym class in grammar school.
04. I still don’t know how to roller skate.
03. I went to gym class drunk once in high school.
02. The movie in #75 was “Rattle and Hum”
01. I am now done with this list.