Top 40 of The Aughts, Part Deux

Real Live Bleeding Fingers And Broken Guitar Strings- Lucinda Williams

Facebook link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1doK74MBk00

The Wrestler- Bruce Springsteen




Facebook Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-6DM6iWKKo

Studebaker- Jordan Zevon



Facebook Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-sl3f0V1bs

 Camp Out- An Horse



Facebook Link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vL89REr4fQ&feature=related

Single Ladies(Put A Ring On It)- Beyonce
    My twins love this song, so I heard it 7,000,000 times...and what can I say ? It's damn catchy.(Plus, i think she sampled the old Space Invaders video game.)



 Facebook link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY

On Call- Kings Of Leon



  Facebook link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFJHnXFfXvw&feature=related

I'm On A Boat(Faet. T-Pain) - The Lonely Island



 Facebook link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avaSdC0QOUM&feature=channel

Portions For Foxes- Rilo Kiley



Facebook link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m11svmUCs3g&feature=related

  Okay then, that's the second set of 8! 8 more next Wednesday!!

Best Of The Aughts...

Okay, I'm coming late to the party, but ever since my kids were born 4 years ago, I'm late to everything, so just deal with it.

  And on top of being late, I haven't even started yet!! Ha-ha!!

  Well, that's not completely true. I do have a list of the Top 40 songs of the last 10 years, because I created a cee dee (or 2 cee dees, to be precise) to send to my friend jaime*, but I have not written up my witty and insightful comments for each tune, so you'll just have to wait a little longer. What are you gonna do ? Stop reading ?

   Oh shit! You could totally stop reading, couldn't you ? You wouldn't do that, would you ? You know I was just kidding, right ?

  I'll get on those lists right away, I promise! Just please come back!

 I was figuring i would do movies and songs...Anything else you'd like to see listed ?

The 25 Funniest Movies of The Last 25 Years ?

I don't think so.
Entertainment weekly is at it again. this time, they have compiled a list of what they claim are the 25 funniest movies since 1983(or, the last 25 years). They got a few right, and they got a few wrong. I started compiling a list of movies that I felt they left off, and I came up with more than 25 pretty quickly.
First let's examine their list, shall we ?


25. Withnail & I: Never saw it, don't have an opinion.

24.Naked Gun:From The Files Of Police Squad! : Very funny movie,don't know if I think it's among the Top 25 though.

23.Austin Powers:International Man Of Mystery :Funny. But again, Top 25 ? I dunno

22. Old School : Definitely not in the Top 25. Maybe not Top 75.Overrated movie.

21. Clerks : Excellent. Probably Top 10.

20.Best In Show :Hilarious movie. Borderline genius.

19.Clueless : Top 25 ?Um...no. Amusing ? yes. Again- waaay overrated movie.

18.Napoleon Dynamite : Not aging well. kinda annoying.

17.Tropic Thunder: Didn't see it, looks hilarious.

16.Superbad: Again, funny, but I don't know about Top 25.

15.Trading Places : I don't know if this is Top 25 for me.

14.Wedding Crashers: first half was funny, then gets a bit slow.

13.Waiting For Guffman: Hard to argue, hilarious movie.

12.When Harry Met Sally: another very overrated movie- why put in a Woody Allen knockoff, when you can put in a Woody Allen movie ? Hannah And Her Sisters anyone ?

11.The 40 Year Old Virgin: Hilarious. maybe not number 11, but might make the Top 25.

10.Dazed & Confused: Great, great movie.Way too funny.

9.A Fish Called Wanda: Good, but overrated too. I'll take real Monty Python- Meaning Of Life.

8.The Big Lebowski: I'll abide, though probably Top 5.

7.There's Something About Mary: again, horribly overrated movie. Funny, but not classic.

6.South Park:Bigger,Longer, And Uncut: awesome movie.

5.Office Space: Yes.

4. This Spinal Tap: Yes.

3. Beverly Hills Cop: Maybe further back, but probably Top 25.

2.National Lampoon's Vacation: I go back and forth on this one. I wouldn't have it this high, though.

1. Ghostbusters: Great movie-very funny, though not my number 1.

So, that's their list.Here's the list, in no particular order, that I came up with, just thinking of movies they left off.

What About Bob ?, Happy Gilmore, Splash, Strange Brew, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid(oops, came out in 1982),Repo Man,Wet Hot American Summer,Real Genius,I'm Gonna Git You Sucka !,Fletch, Hollywood Shuffle, Lost In America,Rushmore, After Hours, The Tao Of Steve,Anchorman, Midnight Run,Planes, Trains, And Automobiles,Scrooged, Groundhog Day, Roxanne, All Of Me,Meaning Of Life,Risky Business,Friday,Princess Bride,Ferris Bueller's Day Off,16 Candles, Zelig, Hannah & Her Sisters, Better Off Dead, The Sure Thing, Into The Night, Bottle Rocket.

And, here's the hybrid, MY list of the 25...um, 30..Well, 31 funniest movies of the last 25 years.

31.Midnight Run: Grodin, DeNiro, Farina- What's not to love ? "Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of milk... Do some fuckin' thing. "

30.Risky Business: A young Bronson Pinchot & Tom Cruise teach us how to laugh. "Please Joel, do what they say, just get off the babysitter. "

29. Into The Night- Jeff Goldblum as an insomniac who gets dragged into jewel heist intrigue with Michelle Pfeiffer. Very funny movie. Find it if you have not seen it. A bunch of directors appear in the movie as well, and David Bowie has a great cameo in it. "If he's still there, you better let him go if you ever want to see those stones alive... a-again... ever. "

28.Anchorman: This movie makes me cry I laugh so hard. " Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina. "

27.16 Candles: Best John Hughes movie(You can have Ferris & The Breakfast Club)" Relax, would you? We have seventy dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We're safe as kittens. "

26.Lost In America :A genius(Albert Brooks) at his best. "Shut up Brad! Your song stunk, I hate your suit and I could hurt you! "

25. Splash : Worth it for John Candy & Eugene Levy alone."You see, drinking is a matter of algebraic ratio. How drunk you get is caused by the amount of alcohol you consume in relation to your total body weight. You see my point? It's not that you had too much to drink. You're just too skinny."

24. Best In Show : See above list. "We started this magazine, 'American Bitch'. It's a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner. "

23.Wet Hot American Summer: "I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters."- (quote corrected, i originally had "rub" but I was wrong. thanks, *jaime !)

22. Fletch : Chevy Chase at his smarmy peak. "Can I borrow your towel ? My car just hit a water buffalo."

21. Happy Gilmore :This movie is just damn funny-tough choice between this and Billy Madison, I think I like this better because I saw it first."You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up. Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, grandma."

20. The Sure Thing:Maybe John Cusack's finest hour. Tim Robbins is funny as Gary Cooper, "but not the Gary Coooper that's dead."

19. Bottle Rocket: "I'm Dignan, man."

18. What About Bob ?: "Is this corn hand shucked ?"

17. Monty Python's Meaning Of Life: Not their best work, but even their so-so stuff is better than most. "Gimme a bucket"

16. Real Genius: Great, great movie. Val Kilmer is hilarious."Your mother puts license plates in your underwear ? How do you sit ?"

15. Strange Brew:Pure genius. "just because I don't know what it is, doesn't mean I'm lying."

14. Friday: "I'm gonna get you fucked up today. Because it's Friday, you ain't got no job...and you ain't got shit to do!"

13. Office Space: "PC load letter ?"

12. Beverly Hills Cop: 'You're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe ?"

11. Ghostbusters:"Yes, it's true...this man has no dick."

10. Dazed & Confused : "Alright alright alright."

9. Planes,Trains & Automobiles :"Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going. "

8. Zelig :"He was the guy who smashed my car up. It was brand new. Then he backed-up over my mother's wrist. She's elderly... and uses her wrist a lot. "

7. South Park:Bigger Longer & Uncut: "Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli? "

6. Repo Man: "Oh, yeah, you're fuckin' A we ripped your car, asshole. You want to know who told us where it was? Your god-damned brother.

5. This Is Spinal Tap: "We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water. "

4. Roxanne: One of Steve Martin's best." I like to go out there with, like a meat sandwich and just be."

3. Clerks: ""Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets. "

2. Groundhog Day: Groundhog Day. Groundhog Day. Groundhog Day."Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to. "

1. The Big Lebowski : "That's fucking interesting, man. That's fucking interesting."

So, there's my list. Agree ? Disagree ? What do YOU think are the funniest movies of the last 25 years ?

Fuck VH1 And That 80's Horse They Rode in On !!!

Over the long Billie Jean King holiday weekend, I watched the VH1 marathon of the 100 Greatest Songs Of the 80's(Which i apparently missed when it aired originally in 2006). 5 hours of my life.
Now, I realize that part of the point of these lists is to spark conversation and argument and such, but some of the shit on this list is ridiculous. This is further proof why the American people shouldn't be allowed to vote for anything( For other examples, see the White House and the people voted version of Monopoly-what a fucking train wreck that thing is !) Let's run down the list, shall we ?


100 Loverboy / "Working for the Weekend" 1981-Good start-great prototypical 80's tune.
99 Wang Chung / "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" 1986 -Irritating song, but unavoidable- okay.
98 Bobby Brown / "My Perogative" 1988 -Meh, whatever.
97 The Romantics / "What I Like About You" 1980 -Great 80's tune.
96 Men at Work / "Down Under" 1982 -See above, but I might have been tempted to go with "Who Can It Be Now" but no major beef.
95 Debbie Gibson / "Only in My Dreams" 1987- Don't know it, don't much care.
94 The Rolling Stones / "Start Me Up" 1981 -Overrated, irritating song from the World's Greatest Rock 'n' Roll band.
93 Gary Numan / "Cars" 1980- I looooved this song in 5th grade !
92 New Kids on the Block / "You Got It (The Right Stuff) 1988 -Don't know it, but they were huge in the late '80's, so okay, I guess.
91 Katrina and The Waves / "Walking On Sunshine" 1983- Can't escape it. Fun tune.
90 Tone-Loc / "Wild Thing" 1989 -See 91
89 The Pretenders / "Brass in Pocket" 1980 -Great fucking song-found out that Chrissie Hynde hates it-interesting. At least they didn't pick "Middle Of The Road"
88 Chaka Khan / "Ain't Nobody" 1989-Vaguely remember this one-meh.
87 Falco / "Rock Me Amadeus 1986 -Another irritating song, but also unavoidably '80's.
86 Bow Wow Wow / "I Want Candy" 1982 -Great tune, GREAT !!! love the guitar riff.
85 Robert Palmer / "Addicted to Love" 1985 -Meh-see #87 and #99
84 Lionel Richie / All Night Long (All Night) 1983 -Cheesey '80's pop.
83 Prince / "Kiss" 1986 -This one always annoyed me.
82 Squeeze / "Tempted"1981 -Great song. Easily 3 or 4 Squeeze songs could be on here.
81 Cameo / "Word Up!" 1986 -Meh
80 Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock / "It Takes Two" 1988-Great tune. Maybe the first rap song I ever heard.
79 Human League / "Don't You Want Me?" 1981 -Great early '80's synth tune.
78 Blondie / "Call Me" 1980 - I loves me some Debbie Harry
77 New Edition / "Candy Girl" 1983 - Never listend to these guys, but they were big.
76 Thomas Dolby / "She Blinded Me With Science" 1982 -See #79
75 Prince / "Little Red Corvette" 1983 - oooh, great, great song.
74 George Michael / "Faith" 1987 - Meh.
73 Nena / "99 Luftbaloons" 1983 -I always liked the English version better, I remember it being on MTV like every 15 minutes or so it seemed.
72 The Fixx / "One Thing Leads to Another" 1983-One of the 100 Greatest ? Naw.
71 Rick James / "Super Freak" 1981 -Enough said.
70 Joan Jett & The Blackhearts/ "I Love Rock N' Roll" 1981- Great tune.
69 R.E.M / "It's The End of the World As We Know It (and I Feel Fine)" 1987-Great song, I always liked "Fall on Me" (among others)better, but at least it's not "The One I Love)
68 Public Enemy / "Fight the Power" 1988 -Great song, though I like "Bring the Noise" better.
67 REO Speedwagon / "Keep On Loving You" 1980 -Perhaps the ultimate cheesy '80's power ballad.
66 Depeche Mode / "Just Can't Get Enough" 1981- meh- never much cared for them.
65 Foreigner / "I Want to Know What Love Is" 1984 -More essential cheesey '80's.
64 Paula Abdul / "Straight Up" 1988 - AAh, Paula before she was crazy.
63 Devo / "Whip It" 1980 -Great song. I loved this one in 5th grade too.
62 Berlin / "Take My Breath Away" 1986 -Meh-This song sucked.
61 Styx / "Mr. Roboto" 1983 -One of the top Ten greatest bad songs ever! Listening to Dennis DeYoung explain this is priceless.
60 Young M.C. / "Bust a Move" 1989-Great pop-rap tune
59 John Mellencamp / "Jack & Diane" 1982 -Always underrated, in my book.
58 Culture Club / "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me" 1982 - Does it get much more '80's ?
57 Toni Basil / "Mickey" 1981 See #58
56 Bonnie Tyler / "Total Eclipse of the Heart" 1983-This would give #67 a run for it's money(if you include the video, I think it wins)
55 A Flock of Seagulls / "I Ran (So Far Away)" 1982-Again, see #'s 58 & 57
54 Salt-N-Pepa / "Push It" 1986 -Meh.
53 Billy Idol / "White Wedding" 1988 (this says 88, but I know it's earlier than that-VH1 fucked the years up on a few of these, they had the REM song released in 1980) that sneer, that hair, the percussive butts in black pants.
52 Dead or Alive / "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)" 1985- I HATED this song. Still do.
51 Ratt / "Round and Round" 1984 -'80's hair metal at it's best.
50 Eurythmics / "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" 1983 -Creeeepy tune even BEFORE Marilyn Manson got his hands on it.
49 Beastie Boys / "Fight For Your Right" 1986-I didn't like this song when it was first out, I came to appreciate it later.
48 Bruce Springsteen / "Born in the U.S.A." 1984-Great, misunderstood song. Only Broooce song on this list, where's Dancing in the Dark ?
47 Twisted Sister / "We're Not Gonna Take It" 1984-Good song-GREAT video.
46 The Police / "Every Breath You Take" 1983 -Aaaah stalking. This was actually a great moment in t5he show, because the show originally aired in 2006, so they are talking about how a Police reunion"will never happen". But on another topic, only 1 Police song ? Really ?
45 Janet Jackson / "Nasty" 1986- Meh, never really listened to her.
44 Bananarama / "Cruel Summer" 1984 -meh- Karate Kid flashbacks.
43 ABC / "Look of Love (Part One)" 1982 - Shouldn't be here
42 The Clash / "London Calling" 1982 -42 ? 42 ? Are you fucking kidding me ? how about 1 ? At least top ten ? Also, this song was 1980(technically, I think it was 1979)-Combat Rock came out in 1982.
41 Mötley Crüe / "Dr. Feelgood" 1989 -No. No. No. Where's "Home Sweet Home" ?
40 The B-52's / "Love Shack" 1989 -I FUCKING DESPISE THIS SONG!!!!! We actually set a cassingle of this song on FIRE when I was in college.
39 Modern English / "I Melt With You" 1982- Awesome tune, should be MUCH higher on this list.
38 U2 / "Pride (In the Name of Love)" 1984 - Good tune.
37 Aerosmith / "Janie's Got a Gun" 1989 - Meh, certainly an unavoidable song, but they have better.
36 Tommy Tutone / "867-5309 / Jenny" 1981- I'll admit it, I called the number.
35 Phil Collins / "In the Air Tonight" 1981 -Great drums, great song.
34 Poison / "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" 1988 - Cheesey, cheesey. cheesey
33 Soft Cell / "Tainted Love" 1981 -See #'s 79 & 76
32 Night Ranger / "Sister Christian" 1983 - Motorin'- enough said.
31 Queen and David Bowie / "Under Pressure" 1981 -Great, great song, probably also deserves to be up higher.
30 Pat Benatar / "Love is a Battlefield" 1983- I love Pat Benatar, but where's "Shadows Of the Night" ?
29 Talking Heads / Burning Down the House 1983-Perhaps my least favorite Talking heads song- I really dislike it.
28 Wham! / "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" 1984-Meh- hate this song, but hard to avoid, very '80's tune.
27 Kajagoogoo / "Too Shy" 1984 - see #58, 57 & 55
26 Guns N' Roses / "Welcome to the Jungle" 1987 - Great fucking song. Plain and simple.
25 Go-Go's / "Our Lips Are Sealed" 1981 -Love me some Go-Go's.
24 A-Ha / "Take On Me" 1985 - I never liked this song. Wasn't the video better than the song ?
23 Cyndi Lauper / "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" 1984 -Great tune, Cyndi Lauper is fantastic.
22 The Cure / "Just Like Heaven" 1987 - Another great song. Just great.
21 Michael Jackson / "Beat It" 1982- maybe a freak show, but OWNED the music world at this point.
20 Rick Springfield / "Jessie's Girl" 1981- More cheesey '80's rock- waaay tooo high on the list, probably shouldn't be here at all.
19 Cyndi Lauper / "Time after Time" 1984- Cyndi kicks ass- she did a great acoustic version of this song on the Howard Stern show in the '90's.
18 Dexy's Midnight Runners / "Come On Eileen" 1982- What's worse than grease on Olivia Newton-John ?
17 Whitesnake / "Here I Go Again" 1982- Huh ? Number 17 ? And again, 1982 ? This was like '87, wasn't it ?
16 INXS / "Need You Tonight" 1987 -Good tune, but # 16 ?
15 Van Halen / "Jump" 1984 - Great tune. Great.Diamond Dave kicks ass.
14 The Bangles / "Walk Like an Egyptian" 1986 -This song bites, "Manic Monday" is faaaar better, but neither one should be in the Top 15.
13 U2 / "With Or Without You" 1984 - Great,great song, and I think there's a naked boob in the video.
12 Whitney Houston / "How Will I Know" 1985 - catchy tune, for sure, but I don't much like it.
11 Journey / Don't Stop Believin' 1981 - This should be higher, maybe one of the greatest songs EVER.
10 AC/DC / "You Shook Me All Night Long" 1980- Can't go wrong on this one.
09 Run-D.M.C. / "Walk This Way" 1986 -Great tune, and important,as well, so I hear.
08 Madonna / "Like a Virgin" 1984 -Trantino's riff on this in "Reservoir Dogs" is awesome. This one probably meant more for her careerwise, but the tunes on her first record are better.
07 Guns N' Roses / Sweet Child O' Mine 1987 -Great fucking riff.
06 Hall & Oates / "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)" 1981 -WHAT THE FUCK ? this song sucks, and what are they doing in the Top MOTHERFUCKING Ten !?!?!?!? maybe "maneater" somewhere in the '70's. Maybe.
05 Prince / "When Doves Cry" 1984 -Can't argue here-great song.
04 Michael Jackson / "Billie Jean" 1982 -See # 21.
03 Duran Duran / "Hungry Like the Wolf" 1982 -Okay, perhaps the ultimate '80's pop tune, i can forgive this, amybe even agree with it, if I have had a few beers.
02 Def Leppard / "Pour Some Sugar On Me" 1987- Number 2 ? And anyway, where is "Photograph" ? But this pales next to...
01 Bon Jovi / "Livin' on a Prayer" 1986- Huh ? What ? Did Bon Fucking Jovi sleep with EVERYONE who voted ? This song "Sucks rope." to quote George the Handyman from "Newhart". First of all, IF Bon Jovi is to have a song on this list(and that's a large IF) it would have to be "You Give Love a Bad Name", wouldn't it ? And it should be somewhere in the '60's, I would think. Or maybe "Wanted Dead or Alive".
This is simply a disgrace. Ridiculous.

Now, where was "Touch Of Grey", by the good old Grateful Dead ? Where was Huey Lewis ? Billy Joel ? Toto ? Peter Gabriel ? John Parr ? "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood ? Stevie Nicks ? Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers ? OMD ? Greg Kihn ? The Vapors ? "Video Killed The Radio Star" by the Buggles ? Crowded House ? Adam Ant ?The list goes on and on.

What were those fucks over at VH1 thinking ?


Okay, I think I'm done.


What songs do YOU think should/should not be on the list ?

100 Things About Me

Here it is, 100 Things about me... I'm not sure, but I think I'm the first person to ever do one of these.



100. I was almost named Sean, but apparently my Father would not agree to it.
99. I broke my leg when I was 2 ½
98. I never knew either of my Grandmothers.
97. I am the youngest of 6 children.
96. I hate lima beans. I cannot swallow them, they make me gag.
95. I am the father of twin girls, born in 2005.
94. My daughters were born on my 35th birthday.
93. I didn’t know I needed glasses until I failed the eye test for my driver’s permit.
92. I am a Deadhead.
91. I am Irish American.
90. All of my grandparents were born in Ireland.
89.I am a die hard New York Mets fan.
88. I am a die hard Dallas Cowboys fan.
87. I care very little about Pro Basketball.
86. I was once robbed at gunpoint.
85. I have been in 4 car accidents in my life.
84. I was driving in 3 of them.
83. ½ of one of them was my fault.
82. I cry at the end of “It’s a Wonderful Life”
81. I shook hands with Gabriel Byrne in a bar in NYC.
80. I have had my car searched by the police.
79. They were looking for weapons.
78. My name sometimes appears on watch lists at airports.
77. I was once accused of facilitating a robbery.
76. I am married.
75. I have walked out of one movie in my life.
74. I used to lie about going to church when I was kid. I would show up, grab a bulletin(“proof” I was there) and walk right out.
73. I once had a Nun tap my mom on the shoulder and tell her that I could not receive communion because I was chewing gum. I was very lucky that day that my Mom could not shoot lasers with her eyes.
72. I am a Type 2 diabetic.
71. I once caught my balls in my zipper.
70. I can tell you first hand-balls bleed quite a bit when caught in a zipper.
69. I drove from New Jersey to California by myself.
68. I once suggested a movie to Don Mattingly in a video store in my hometown.
67.I am phobic of spiders.
66.I am realizing that 100 things is a lotta god-damned things !!
65. I like the taste of Pepto-Bismol.
64. I once caught my thumb on fire lighting Pledge with a lighter.
63. Twins do not run in my family, they are the result of scientific intervention.
62. I once invented(along with two friends) a new hors d’oeuvres that consisted of a Ritz cracker, spray cheese and a Rolo. It was fan-fucking-tastic.
61. My first concert was the Kinks on their “State of Confusion” tour.
60. My first semester of college, I got one of each grade(A,B,C,D,F)
59. That gave me a C average, which kept me off probation.
58. I had a math class that met on Saturday morning, I rarely went.
57. That’s the class I got the F in.
56. The next semester, I had to take the class again, and again, I got it on Saturday.
55. I never went on Saturday, but this time I got a “C”.
54. I realize that I am cheating a bit with how I breakup some of these things, but hellfuck, 100 things is a lotta god-damned things !
53. I have over 200 Simpsons figures that speak when placed into dioramas.
52. I have every episode of the Simpsons on videotape. Yes, videotape.
51. I once played Santa Claus in the senior holiday skit.
50. I worked on a farm for a summer.
49. I didn’t know how to tie a tie until I was 24.
48. I had enough room for my wisdom teeth to come in, but the top ones both broke and needed to be pulled.
47. I delivered liquor as a summer job, and I lost at least two clipboards because I left them on the top of the car.
46. I also got lost quite a few times.
45. I am allergic to cats.
44. I am also allergic to pollen and most perfumes.
43. I always eat the ears of chocolate bunnies first.
42. I believe that I was the first person to use the phrase/word ‘hellfuck”
41. # 43 is a lie.
40. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.
39. I think I could eat bacon at every meal and never grow tired of it.
38. I lied in # 40 as well.
37. It was a Wendy’s bathroom.
36. 37 is a lie too.
35. I have never gotten busy in any major food chain’s bathroom.
34. When I was in high school, I handed out my autograph and told people it would be worth something someday.
33. Regarding # 71 & 70-It’s also not nearly as funny as they tried to make it seem in “There’s Something About Mary”.
32. I wrote a horror trilogy when I was in high school.
31. It was about this psycho killing stars at a major awards show..
30. We filmed the first two scenes of Part I, but then production fell apart.
29. The scripts are lost forever.
28. I also made a short film called “The Marlboro Man” when I was a freshman in high school.
27. That video still exists.
26. Actually, the two scenes from my horror film still exist as well.
25. Wow. This list sure shows how boring a person I am.
24. I used to sit and inhale Mr. Sketch markers for hours.
23. The mango was always my favorite.
22.On a dare in high school, I only shaved half of my face for two weeks.
21. I had to have a root canal in one of my front teeth because the filling that my EX dentist put in “attacked” the nerve in the tooth.
20. I once had an infected toenail that got so bad I almost lost my toe.
19. I had a cyst removed from the root of one of my teeth.
18. I almost fainted during the cyst removal because I opened my eyes and realized that all of the blood that was on my apron and on the front of the oral surgeons gown was mine.
17. It was A LOT of blood.
16. The cyst was not cancerous.
15. I started smoking when I was 17.
14. I smoked regularly for 10 years.
13. I quit in 1997 when I had bronchitis that turned into pneumonia.
12. I have had smoking bouts since then, but have not gone back to it regularly.
11. My freshman year of college, my Mom and Dad sent me a laundry basket full of Easter candy and stuff.
10. I once ran into someone from my hometown in Jersey at a Dead show in Indiana.
09. I hate peas.
08. I love mashed potatoes.
07. # 9 is not a lie.
06. I once sold the handle from a gas pump for a dollar at a garage sale.
05. I once pretended to be sick so I did not have to perform a roller skating routine in gym class in grammar school.
04. I still don’t know how to roller skate.
03. I went to gym class drunk once in high school.
02. The movie in #75 was “Rattle and Hum”
01. I am now done with this list.

I Got You Covered...

No, this is not me finally telling the tale of my time as a sharpshooter for the Midwestern Chapter of the ASPCA , that is a story for another day...No, I'm talking about cover songs. I was sitting in my office, playing some vicious air guitar to Derek & The Dominoes cover of Hendrix' 'Little Wing", and I had this thought: "Is there another song where the cover version and the original song, while vastly different, are both as kickass as "Little Wing" ?"

Now, I'm sure that there are, but I am having a hard time thinking of any. I did, however, come up with some of my all time favorite cover songs, and I thought that I would share them with you.

"Like A Virgin" -Lords Of the New Church- Stiv Bators really gets to the emotion of this song from a male perspective and...Oh who am I kidding, it's just damn funny.

"All Along The Watchtower"-Jimi Hendrix : The music matches the menace of Dylan's lyrics.

"I'm Easy"- Faith No More: Great version of this Commodores tune.

"Do You Wanna Dance ?","California Sun","Let's Dance","I Don't Wanna Grow Up"-The Ramones: Really, is there anything the Ramones don't make better ?

"My Way"- Sid Vicious- pure genius.

"Proud Mary"- Ike & Tina Turner: This one might be an answer to the "Little Wing" question. Ike & Tina take a great song by CCR and make it even better.

"When I Paint My Masterpiece","Good Morning, Little SchoolGirl","Morning Dew","Knockin' on Heaven's Door","You Win Again",etc:-The Grateful Dead: See Ramones above.

"Smells Like Teen Spirit"-Paul Anka: Sorry, I love this song. the Nirvana version is obviously better, but I still love this version.

"Ship Of Fools/Must Have Been The Roses"-Elvis Costello: Elvis covering the Grateful Dead,genius on top of genius. Great acoustic medley of these songs.

"My Ride's Here"-Bruce Springsteen: Bruce's tribute to Warren Zevon. Great tune, great version.

Edit: How could I forget ? Frank Zappa doing "Stairway To Heaven !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Okay, that's all I got for now. I know there are more, but I can't think of 'em right now. I'll have to come up with my list of the worst cover versions as well.


Now you tell me your favorites, why dontcha ?

EW's 25 Greatest Action Movies Of All Time !!

Okay, the June 22nd issue of Entertainment Weekly had their list of The 25 Greatest Action Movies of All Time. Some were good choices, some were bad choices, some were puzzling choices. I won't even begin to talk(type) about the fact that in the magazine, they started the list at #1- what about dramatic tension, people ? Criminy ! Okay, I guess I lied when i said(typed) that I would not even begin to talk(type) about that. I clearly did start to talk(type) about it. Sorry, and in case you were wondering, my pants, are, in fact, on fire.

Here are some of my thoughts(which are really just my opinions, some of which are defendable, some of which are not-you can have your say in the comments)...

25. The Incredibles-I dunno. I didn't like this as much as everyone else seemed to, and this choice kind of stinks of -"ooh, let's put an animated film on there and blow everyone's mind!"

24.Lethal Weapon- Okay, I can agree with this one.The sequels sucked, but this one was a good buddy cop action move.

23.Drunken Master II- Didn't see it. Don't really care to.

22. Predator-Overrated. The Running Man was better, and more fun and Arnold was in that as well.

21. Spiderman- Okay. I can hang with this one.

20.Kill Bill Vol 1- Great choice. Great movie. "action movie" didn't jump to my mind right away, but the fight sequences are pretty badass.

19. Goldfinger-I have to agree with the laser beam crotch scene being one of moviedom's all time images.

18.The Adventures Of Robin Hood- Haven't seen it.Don't know that I will.

17. The Bourne Supremacy- I did not expect to like the Bourne movies, but really did. I can never remember anything about them, but I don't care.

16.Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon- I have said before, I hated this movie. Bored me to tears, then to sleep, then I woke up and cried again.

15. Enter The Dragon- Bruce Lee. I haven't seen the whole thing, but...Bruce Lee- enough said ? probably.

14. Robocop- "I'll buy that for a dollar." Fun movie. I dug it.

13. The Wild Bunch- Peckinpah.

12. The Empire Strikes Back- One of the greatest movies ever, so this should be further up the list.

11. Speed- Ugh. This movie is a piece of crap.

10. Terminator 2: Judgement Day- One of the most overrated movies of ALL TIME. First of all, it is NOT better than the first one. Secondly, Linda Hamilton is ridiculous in it. It's like a parody of the first movie. Okay, I'll give you that the Robert Patrick cyborg is cool , but this movie goes on forever.

09. Hard Boiled- The two gun thing is neat, but i don't remember much else about this movie. Though I'm tempted to agree with Homer Simpson, when he talked of "..misdirected woo, which is just about any John Woo film", just because that always made me laugh, not necessarily because it's true.

08. Saving Private Ryun-Fuck this movie.

07.Gladiator- On second thought fuck THIS movie. OH. MY. GOD. What a pile of shit. And Russel Crowe won an Oscar for this ? For playing a Spaniard with an Australian accent ? He should have won for the Insider, not for this. This movie was CRAPTACULAR !!!

06.Seven Samurai-Kurosawa-Enough said.

05. The Matrix- I'm torn on this one. On an action level, it was pretty cool, but the sequels were soooo bad, that it actually hurts this one. I would probably have it on the list, but maybe not so high.

04.The Road Warrior- Mad Max is better, but this is a great movie.

03.Raiders Of The Lost Ark- Brilliant movie. Action packed, funny. the acting is actually good.

02.Aliens- Great, great movie. Back when James Cameron could still make great movies. This thing never fucking slows down. It's so damn good.It's the one sequel that I might be tempted to say was better than the original.

01. Die Hard- Fuck yes !! Yippee-ki-yay-motherfucker !!! This is a fan-fucking-tastic movie, and has to be considered for one of the greatest franchises ever. All 3 of the movies are really really good. And I am fucking excited to see the 4th one. We lived in L.A. for 8 years, and we saw the old Nakatomi building just about everyday. Kickass !!!

So there you have it. Whaddya think ? Am I full of shit ?

I think I might come up with my own Top 25 Action Movies list as well. Would that qualify as a sequel ?

Stay Tuned.

List-O-Riffic !!!!

I promised more lists...And I am a man of my word...So, here's a list...

My Top 10 Porno Movie Titles

1.A Clockwork Orgy
2. Edward Penishands
3. Erectnophobia
4. Foreskin Gump
5. Beverly Hills, 9021-Ho !!
6. Muffy The Vampire Layer
7. Backside To The Future
8. Snatch Adams
9. I Know Who You Did Last Summer
10. San Fernando Jones And The Temple Of Poon

Honorable Mention: Pulp Friction, Whore Of The Rings,On Golden Blonde , Bitanic

Did I miss any ?

Spinning The Hot Discs....

I saw this Music list thing( I must say, I don't like the word Meme, I'm also not a big fan of the whole LOL, ROFLMAO,FYKMA thing either, while I'm stating things I'm not fond of) over at Avitable's, and while I am not savvy enough to put up links, I figure I can share 7 songs I am currently "digging", you know ? Can you dig it ? I knew that you could.

1. Rise Up With Fists!!- Jenny Lewis & the Watson Twins- I listen to it over and over and over and over and over again.
The video, is pretty funny, too, and Jenny and the Watson Twins are not tough on the eyes, if you know what I'm saying.

2. Don't Need Love- Grateful Dead- An unreleased song that I have a live recording of from the Greek Theater in Berkeley CA on July 15th 1984. It's a Brent song, and I love it. i had a copy of about half of this performance on an audiocassette from "The Deadhead Hour" when I was in high school. I fell asleep while listening to the show, and when I woke up, that tape had ended, and I quickly flipped it to get a chunk of the song.

3. Smile- Lily Allen- Wow, something relatively new !! She's a singer/songwriter(I think) from England. This song has this light, poppy sound, but it's kinda mean when you listen to the lyrics.

4. Tonight I'll Be Staying Here With You- Bob Dylan- A live version from the Bootleg series , from his Rolling Thuinder Revue Tour, which I think was 1975. A song I never really had any use for until I heard this version.

5. That's Enertainment-The Jam- Great song that i rediscovered when they used it in "Stranger Than Fiction"

6.More Than A Feeling- Boston- R.I.P., Brad Delp.

7. Brown Eyed Women-Grateful Dead- a live version from Dick's Picks Volume 21: 11/1/85 at the Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, VA. A great version of one of my ALL-TIME favorite Dead tunes. i lstened to it 4 times in a row on the way home from work the other day, and only stopped at 4 because I arrived at home. I love the way Jerry sings "Raised 8 boys, only I turned bad" on this one.

There ya go, a 7 song list thingy...Fine, a 7 song meme. Happy ?