Movies That I Hate...

I read Mark's list, and while I disagreed with a lot of his choices, I was properly inspired to make my own list.

Here are some movies that I despise...Some might be obvious choices, some might surprise and even disgust you...In no particular order...

Titanic: Too long. Too stupid. And waaaaaay overpraised. the only good thing about it ? The stunning Kate Winslet's glorious naked breast.

A.I.: This one has it's own post. Lord, what an interminable waste of my time and money. I still say, the reason Kubrick never made this movie was because there was not a movie to make.

King Kong(2005): Ugh. I never ever thought something could make me nostalgic for the abomination that is the 1976 King Kong, but Peter Jackson's bloated mess did just that.

Howard the Duck: there are few movies I was more excited by, or more disappointed in. This movie took this great comic book character and turned him into Donald Fucking Duck without the speech impediment. Howard is a brilliant, perverse character, and he got lobotomized and sanitized for the big screen. An abomination.

Ordinary People: This movie won Best Picture ? over RAGING BULL ? This plays like a bad afterschool special. It's god awful.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: What ? It sucked. You can go on and on about the lyricism and blah blah blah..It was boring...It didn't look beautiful...And the people running around in the trees looked very much like they were hanging from wires.

Saving Private Ryan: I know, this make me some Un-American Pinko fag bastard. Oh well. I don't see how saving a blond, blue-eyed soldier(hmm...who else was all hot and bothered by the blond and blue-eyed ? did it seem ironic to anyone else that they were going to save Matt Damon, who would have made Hitler cream his pants ? No offense meant to Matt Damon, of course.) is supposed to "make sense " of the war...It was WORLD WAR TWO !!! There was clear reason to be fighting that war. It wasn't Vietnam or Korea. It was WWII !! I also happen to think if just about any other filmmaker in the world shot that exact same opening scene, it would have been called "gratuitous" but since the "Golden Boy" did it, it was "artful" and "realistic". And what was that ending ? Oh, God that was awful.

Good Will Hunting: Kee-Rist!! ANOTHER bad afterschool special. Ooh, Matt Damon & Ben Affleck get to show off their Bawstan accents. Ooh.This movie just plain sucked.

Wow, I'm really killing some Matt Damon there, aren't I ? I actually like him quite a bit. He's great in the Bourne movies, and in the Departed. He also does a great Matthew McConaughey impersonation.

The Postman: This movie actually impresses me, in the fact that Kevin Costner actually got this made. He made this spectacularly expensive failure with Waterworld, and then he got a studio to give him another ungodly amount of money to essentially make Waterworld without the water. That is some impressive work.

Batman & Robin: Ugh. I love me some Batman. I can even stomach batman Forever(just barely) but this one was too much. The best part was that Mr Freeze lets you know in the movie how bad it's going to be- He skates around with his little bombs going "Bomb! Bomb ! Bomb!" Amen, Mr. Freeze. Amen.

Gangs Of New York: Jaysus. Where do I start ? This movie was god awful from start to finish. I really like Martin Scorsese(minus Bringing Out The Dead), but this was unforgivable. Just a bloody(literally) mess.


Then there are some that I couldn't even bring myself to finish watching:
Bringing Out The Dead
Reindeer Games
City Slickers 2
Miami Vice
The Last Samurai


I could go on and on...and on...But I won't, but of course, there could always be...A SEQUEL !!!