110 Questions...110 Questions? Yes, 110 Questions.

I just found this in a "Writins" Folder...Thought I'd share... I think it might be from the MySpace days.

110 Questions Some People Wouldn't Think To Ask!

001. When's the last time you ran?
I can't recall, but I defintely ran so far away. I ran all night and day. I still couldn't get away.

002. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
No. they are creased and ironed regularly. And discarded when they become slightly faded.

003. What are you dreading right now?
the approaching darkness.

004. Do you celebrate 4/20?:
I do. By wearing purple and going to church.

006. What face cleanser do you use?:
Irish Spring Sport.

007. When was your last doctors visit?:
For me ? Two weeks ago, podiatrist.

008. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ! Oh mercy. Six at the most.

09. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?:
  Bout an hour?

010. "First Loves Are Never Over" is this true for you?
Of course. Where are you, Valerie Bertinelli ?

011. Think of all your exes. Would you take any of them back?
Naw.

012. If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would they find you wearing?
Scuba suit.

013. Does your school have tornado drills?:
No.

014. Have you ever been on your schools track team?:
No.

015. Do you own a pair of Converse?
I have a pair of Joker converse all starts from when Batman came out in 1989.

016. Who did you cut and paste this survey from?
Lauren

017. Do you eat raw cookie dough ?
No, i like to hear it scream in the oven first.

018. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?:
have I ever not ?

019. Don't you hate when the radio ruins good songs by overplaying them?
I hate the radio for so many reasons. Not the least of which is the fact that it ate all of my fucking fig newtons !!

020. Would you rather them play the whole video or just a clip of it on TRL?
Everyone knows clips are a travesty.

021. Do you watch Trading Spaces?:
Not so much anymore.

022. How do you eat oreos?:
That's really between me and the Oreos.

023. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone to sign in?:
I just did recently at this meeting, but it turned out that the person wasn't signing in...she was filling out a survey, but she was leaning on the sign in sheet.

024. Are you cocky?
i prefer the term penisey.

025. Shortest relationship?
47 seconds. That bitch.

026. Longest?
23 years and counting.

030. Could you live without a computer?:
No. A computer controls my breathing and my bowel evacuations. Without one, I would become septic and suffocate.

031. Do you wear your shoes in the house?
Two pairs.

032. When you watch movies at home, do you turn the lights off?
Typically.

033. At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real?
What?!?!

034. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house?
7.

035. What do you do when you're sad?
Cry and cry and cry...and plot revenge.

036. Who would you call first if you won the lottery?
My pimp.

037. Last time you saw your best friend?
1967

038. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would be 11 feet tall. How kickass would that be ?

039. Last movie you rented?:
 

040. Who/What sleeps with you every night?:
My wife and the many many demons.

041. How many times have you been pulled over?
4. Car searched once.

042. Pancakes or Frenchtoast?:
Waffles.

043. How do you like your eggs?:
Frozen

044. Are you in highschool?:
Aren't we all really always in high school ? isn't that what John Hughes was telling us?

045. Is anyone on your bad side right now?
I'm all bad side.

046. What jewelry are you wearing?:
The Hope diamond. And my skull ring, and my steal your face ring, and my wedding ring, and my "clouds and shit" symbolic Celtic ring, and my peace sign ring, and two other rings, and mymedic alert necklace.

047. What's the first thing you do when you get online?:
Sweep for bugs.

048. Do you own any TV seasons on DVD?:
Simpsons 1-8. All three AD. Some Scrubs, Larry Sanders, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Freaks And Geeks, The Tick(non animated), Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist, South Park.

049. Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?
I watched it until that ridiculous bomb episode, that was enough for me. Too poorly written.

050. How do most people spell your name?
S-E-X-Y.

051. Do you wear your boy/girlfriends clothes?:
Legally, I cannot answer that.

053. What do you do before you sleep every night?:
brush my teeth, turn the doorknob four times east, four times west. Brush my teeth again. Change my pajamas, turn the doorknob again. get into bed. get out of bed. Turn counterclockwise three times. get back into bed.

054. What was the first movie that gave you nightmares?
Poltergeist.

055. Who's your favorite celebrity couple?
Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward

056. Favorite 80's teen movie?
16 Candles

057. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson or
Elton John?
Huh ?

058. Do you know anyone who wasn't born in the United States?
Why would I talk to anyone not born in the United States ?

059. Favorite name for a boy?
Fergus.

060. Will you keep your last name when you get married?
Damn straight !!

061. Your favorite restaurant you don't get to eat at much?
McDonald's -Stupid morals code. ban me ? No, Ban you !!!

062. When is the last time you left your house?
1984.

063. Do you buy your own school supplies?
of course.

064. Do you already have your school supplies?
All ready. pencils sgarpened.

065. Have you ever cursed at a teacher?:
Have i ever not ?

066. How do you eat your steak?:
With my bare hands, sitting naked on the floor.

068. How do you get to school?
Segway.

069. If you heard your phone ringing right now, who do you expect it to be?
Jesus.

070. What noise do you hear?:
Just the voices...Always the voices.

071. Would you survive in prison?:
Where do you think I am now ?

072. Next concert you hope to go to?
Oh, I dunno. Raffi ?

073. What was the last thing you ate?
I'm eating some Fig Newton minis right now.

074. When was the last time you said I love you and meant it?:
When I looked in the morror.

075. Who is the youngest in your family?:
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

076. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would be most likely to overpack?
Friends ?

077. Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
Nope.

078. How many syllables does your name have?:
2

079. What does your license plates say?:
They can't talk. Talking license plates was 50 extra bucks.

080. When is the last time you ate peanut butter?:
Breakfast on and English Muffin

081. What service is your cell phone?:
  AT&T

082. What's for dinner?
Whatever I hit on the way home.

083. What's the last thing you purchased?:
My soul back.

084. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you?
No.

085. Where is your cell phone?
In my pocket.

086. Is your phone on vibrate or ring most?
Both. I'm hard of hearing, and my nerves were damaged in a souffle accident.


087. What brand is your pants right now?
My pants is Dockers, right now.

088. Ever been to Georgia?:
Hells yeah.


089. Did you have breakfast this morning?:
Yep.

090. Do you like marshmallows?:
They are evil. They killed my cat.

091. What irritates you most on the internet?:
The numbers and the letters.

092. What brand is your digital camera?
Instarust

093. Do you watch movies with your parents?:
Not as far as they know.

094. Do you wear short shorts?:
Of course. Under everything else I wear.

095. Do you think you could be pregnant?:
I sure could.

096. What song describes your love life at the moment?:
Comfortably Numb.

097. Do you own expensive perfumes?:
i make my own.

098. On average, how much do your jeans cost?:
4 million dollars

099. Are you taking college classes?:
No.

100. Do your parents know you cuss?
Ooooh, yeah. Those fuckers sure do know.

101. Do they care?:
They hit me with a yardstick for every cuss word.

102. Did you see Harold and Kumar go to WhiteCastle?:
I lived it.

103. Have you ever been to WhiteCastle?:
Mmmmm...yes.

104. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone?:
The more the merrier.

105. Do you like the Phillies?:
Phuck no !! Go Mets !!!


106. Do you like sushi?:
Ick. No.

107. Do you get your hair cut every month?:
no.

108. Have you ever made out in front of your parents?
  Have I ever NOT?

109. Do you go online everyday?:
Yes.

110. Last question, do you read everybody's bulletins?:
Of course I do.

Beam Me Up, Scotty...

So, I watched the new Star Trek movie this weekend. Meh. Didn't hate it, didn't like it either.Mostly just didn't care.
  Was this because I was not a big fan of the tee vee shows ? Or the other eleven thousand Star Trek movies ? I liked Wrath of Khan, and I liked the one where they return to Earth in our time. Otherwise, I'm not even sure which ones I watched. I remember being very excited to see "Star Trek: the Motion Picture" when it was first released, and being bored out of my skull by it.

  Any of you guys or gals big Star Trek fans ? What is it with me and Star Trek ? Why don't I get it ? Am I just too stupid  ?

Questions....

So, I have been doing some thinking about this blog lately.

Now, I'm true to all the blogging cliches: "I blog for me" and all that jazz, but let's be honest, I like people to read the damn thing, too. Not that I'm going to change everything I do in order for people to read it, and honestly, I don't know that I plan to change anything, but I am a little bit curious:

Why do you come here ? I know this is comment whoring and all that, but I am truly curious about what brings people here. And how many people, exactly, does it bring here ? Love ? Obligation? Curiosity ? Community service ?

I know that there are a couple of people who actually play the lyric and quote quizzes because they occasionally guess. Do people play who don't know the answers or don't want to guess?

Does anyone watch the videos on Saturdays ?

Does Meet My Ties come across as absurd as I want it to be ? I think that one may have been a misfire. But fear not, it's only got a few more weeks. Then perhaps we'll do socks...or boxers!

Any of the fiction grab you ? The true stories ?

Do you like me ? Do you really like me ??

Asking the Tough Questions....

Here at Sandwich Flats, we don't shy away from the controversial topics. Oh no. We take them on. Head first. Face to face. Toe to toe.

  That, my friends, is why I am not afraid to ask the following question:

 When you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, do you put the peanut butter on one slice of bread, and then the jelly(or jam, if you prefer, we don't judge here at the Flats) on the OTHER slice of bread, or do you add the jelly(or jam) on top of the peanut butter ?

Pray Tell, What Are These "Piss Shivers" That You Speak Of ?

In yesterday's post, I inquired of all the ladies out there if they experience the phenomenon known as "piss shivers". I guess I'm also not sure that all men experience it or not.

Of the two ladies that responded, neither seemed to know what the hell I was talking about. So, I will offer a brief explanation.

"Piss shivers"( Peter H. M. Brooks is attributed with calling it "Post-Micturition Convulsion Syndrome, or PMCS) are what they sound like, when taking a piss(and usually upon finishing said bout of urination(though hopefully, "Not on the rug, man."), a shiver is sent down one's spine. It can vary in severity, from a tiny little shiver to a full blown quake(I have had one or two that actually caused a movement of the feet). My theory has always been that the larger(or longer) the pee, the stronger the shiver, but I have no factual data to back up that claim, and have yet to secure funding to conduct any substantive research.

"The Straight Dope" indicates that women(some anyway) do, in fact, experience "piss shivers". They also offer some theories on the cause of PMCS.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Not To Be Indelicate, But...

do women experience the phenomenon known as "Piss Shivers "?

Five...Count 'em...Five Questions....

Okay, so this an Interview Thing that is making the rounds. I read it at Avitable's.( I did one of these for Feral Mom as well, but without the participation rules attached) Then I asked him to interview me in his comments, then he sent me the following 5 questions which I will answer. If you want to particpate, the directions are at the bottom of the post.

Here are my answers to Avitable's questions:

1. What is your #1 favorite movie of all time ? Diner- written and directed by Barry Levinson. Brilliant dialogue, great acting. really delivers you to the time and place, and just about the funniest movie ever.

2. What is your #1 favorite song of all time ? Box Of Rain- Grateful Dead. I love it for so many reasons- it makes me dance(not an easy task)I remember once in college a couple of friends(Kim & Bob) and I came back from a bar, put "Box Of Rain" on repeat and danced for like a half an hour- it makes me smile, and it even makes me a little bit sad(it was written while Phil Lesh's Dad was dying in the hospital).

3. What do you do for a living ? I am an office manager in an academic department at Florida State University. Believe me, it is every bit as exciting as it sounds.

4. What is your biggest regret ? That I never took some time to tour with the Grateful Dead. That's an experience I am sad I missed.

5. Does that hairstyle come naturally, or do you have to get it permed ?
It is actually naturally curly. Though much less so now that it is almost
grey. It used to have a real "Weird Al" Yankovic quality to it. It also used to be very long- down the middle of my back.


Here are the rules if you want to keep it going:

Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.(And let me know that you answered) If you don't have a blog, but would still like to play, I can send you the questions, and you can answer 'em in the comments.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

What Are A Few Of Your Favorite Things ?

Back in the long ago...In the before time...Before this blog existed, I would torture those who were foolish enough to give me their e-mail addresses with random annoying e-mails. Here is a bit of a quiz I came up with oh those years ago..I never answered these questions, I simply wanted others to answer, but I will answer them now, and I hope that some of you will play along, either in the comments, or on your own patches of the internets.


1. What's your favorite color ? Purple

2. Who's your favorite Beatle ? Stu Sutcliffe..Just kidding, it's George Harrison.

3. What's your favorite cooking spice ? Garlic salt

4. What's your favorite book ? Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas

5. Favorite explorer ? Vasco De Gama

6. Favorite post it note size ? 3 x 3

7. Favorite Barbara Streisand movie ? is there any doubt- The Main Event

8. Favorite adjective ? Dickensian

9. Favorite car ? Speed Buggy.

10. Favorite Rat Packer ? Joey Bishop

11. Favorite Brat Packer ? Emilio Estevez

12. Favorite Green Bay Packer ? Lynne Dickey

13. Favorite City ? CLEVELAND !!!!

14. Favorite song ? Box Of Rain- Grateful Dead

15. Favorite adhesive ? Rubber Cement

16. Favorite ex of Liz Taylor's ? Larry Fortensky

17. Favorite Brady ? Jan

18. Favorite Christmas Carol ? Dominic The Donkey- Lou Monte

19. Favorite animated monkey ? Magilla Gorilla

20. Favorite Writing Implement ? Quill dipped in squid ink.

21. Favorite soap ? Irish Spring w/ Aloe

22. Favorite vegetable ? spinach

23. Favorite superhero ? Batman

24. Favorite Brian Dennehey movie ? F/X

25. Favorite prehistoric family ? The Rubbles

26. Favorite TV Show ? Simpsons

27. Favorite movie villain ? Darth Vader

28. Favorite candy ? Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

29. Favorite movie ? Diner

30. Favorite berry ? Blueberry

31. Favorite breakfast cereal ? Vanilly Crunch

Feral Interview....

The lovely and talented Feral Mom over at Gone Feral has come up with 5 Questions(3 questions) for me to answer...So answer the 5 Questions(3 questions) I will....

Question The First: What Grateful Dead song(if any) do you secretly think is shite ?
Answer: I don't know there are any that I secretly think are shite. there are several Bob Weir sung tunes that I am not a big fan of': Walkin' Blues, Corinna(or as a friend of mine once dubbed it "Velveeeta"), Easy Answers...

I also happen to like a lot of songs that other Heads really dislike. Everyone seems to hate Garcia's "Keep Your Day Job"- I kinda like it. Same with "I Will Take You Home". In fact, I am a big fan of Brent Mydland, and I know he is not a lot of people's cup of Grateful Dead tea. I love what he brought to the band, and I was crushed when he died.

But I guess the one thing that could get me excommunicated is this...I am not a big fan of Drums/Space-Allow me to explain- About halfway through the second set of EVERY show(starting somewhere in 1979 officially, I think), there would be about a ten minute drum solo(Drums), during which Jerry, Phil, Bobby and Keith& Donna(1971-1979)/Brent(1979-1990)/Vince(1990-1995) and Bruce Hornsby(1990-1992) would leave the stage. Then they would all return, and they would noodle around(Space) while Bill and Mickey(the drummers) would take a break. I never particularly enjoyed this, I must admit. When it would be nearing the end of Space, it was always fun to try and figure out which song they were going to play, but overall, I did not like the music that this interlude produced. I appreciate that it was a needed rest, and it let them improvise and everything, but i was mostly bored. The only time I really remember enjoying it was at one show where I watched this dude dance to the whole drum solo, and seeing someone enjoy it that much definitely upped my enjoyment.
There you have it, probably a much longer answer than needed.

Question The Second: Which two of your friends should never,ever meet one another ?

I don't know that I have a real answer to that one. I think most of my friends are pretty good at adapting and getting along. I will skip this one for a second and move on.

I'm back, and I must say, I don't think I have an answer for this one. I have had friend universes cross before, with no disasters, so I don't think I would need to keep any of my friends apart.Perhaps My Special Lady might have a different take on this one. Comment if you do,Special Lady.

Question The Third: You've got to give up one: sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, or the internets. Which will it be ?

This one is actually easier to answer than one might think. Drugs would be the one to give up. In fact, I think I have mostly unofficially given them up by now anyway. I don't think I've smoked reefer in a year or two anyway, and I gave up the more mind expanding ones quite some time ago. I realize that it ain't the coolest answer in the world,but it is the truth. I think I had enough good and(very,very) bad times on drugs to last me for a while anyway. I can still drink, right ?

Question The Fourth: What's the longest you've ever gone without talking to someone ?

I'm not absolutely sure what answer you require to this...Do you mean like what's the longest I have been without human contact ? Or what's the longest that my stupid Irish temper has kept me from talking to someone that has "wronged" me ?
I am going to guess you mean the latter. There was one person that My Special Lady and I just cut out of our lives completely, that was probably ten years or so ago now. Those who knew us in L.A. will probably be rolling their eyes right about now, as this was a bit of an all encompassing situation for my Special Lady and I for awhile. This was a person that we were somewhat friends with, at least friendly neighbors, and then he just crossed several lines, the last being remaining in our apartment while we had some friends over for dinner, not leaving, but not accepting the (begrudgingly) offered dinner invitation. We stopped talking to him the next day.

Question The Fifth: You get to relive one year of your life in its entirety before you die.Which one will it be, or will you take a pass ?

This is a tough one...Good question, Feral Mom. The immediate, sentimental answer would be 2005, as that is when the twins were born(and I mean ACTUAL twins- it's not some twisted reference to the day My Special Lady got breast implants), but that was only one day in that year, and I think have enjoyed this past year more than that year,as they have become more interactive with us, and all that. But then, this has not been a banner year for me as a person(or husband- nothing super salacious or juicy, I can just be a prick sometimes, and lack of sleep and other stresses has made that a more often occurrence than I would like-let's just say, I would not be shocked to one day come home and have the locks changed-well, perhaps that is an exaggeration-or perhaps it's not), so I don't know that I would want to relive that part of it.

One could also go the more selfish route, and pick a year from my youth, when things were going my way, when I was still full of promise, and suffering under the delusion that I was talented, and "going places". Back when I could recover from hangovers more quickly(or perhaps not have them at all), when I did not think about the consequences of actions. But, then I would not have the joy of knowing many of the people I know now. I didn't know Mr. & Mrs. Feral, or Sass, or C2, Elizabeth, Susan,Frank,- or any of the other folks we met in Chicago. I think I would pick a year before we moved to L.A., so I would not know any of the truly fantastic people I know from there(I'm not sure who reads this, but you know who you are-Aaron,Jane, Julia,Gail, Brad,Gina, Joe, Eric...I'm sure I'm forgetting some folks). Would I pick a year from college ? Probably, so many of those folks would be there, so that would be good. But, of course, to become a bit maudlin, I can't imagine time without RLB and LAB(the twins) in it as "better" anyway.

I guess I would have to say I'm dead, that's it. Help me find my grandmothers(I never met them), then tell me where Garcia's playing, and tell Hunter Thompson and Belushi to meet me there.

There you have it, the answers to the Five(three) Questions.

Thanks, Feral Mom.


If anyone else has some questions they'd like to ask me- fire away.