Can I Hear That Again?

Those of you that read this that have known me outside of the interweb are probably aware of my proclivity for repetition when it comes to music. Yep, I'm the guy who used to wear out cassette tapes if there was one particular song on it that I really, REALLY liked. I distinctly remember it happening with my copy of  Tom Petty & the Heatrtbreaker's "Long After Dark"...the song in question ? "Change of Heart. LOVED that tune...Still do. of course, The destruction of the tapes ceased with the advent of the cee dee( and now the iPod).

  Some songs have a short life in this obsessive listening, others keep coming back, again and again.

  Now, this is not a complete compulsion...For the most part, I will not subject other people to this "personality trait", at least not in it's purest form(the repetition of one song over and over). Sure, sometimes My Special Lady has to put up with it, but that was in the contract...She's locked in.

 Sometimes people might be indirectly subjected to it. I'm pretty sure I annoyed some roommates in college(I'm pretty sure I listened to the "Hair" soundtrack for about a week straight in my dorm), maybe some neighbors, and almost definitely people who have worked near me in offices.

  Sometimes people are subjected to it on a slightly wider scale...I might create a mix(or a "playlist" as they are now called) and if you are around me a lot, you may hear that playlist A LOT, but it will often be 1 100 songs or so, so the repetition isn't quite as acute.

  Why am I telling you all this ? Because something is happening, and I think there are two possible reasons( and they are not mutually exclusive)...First, I will share with you what is happening...MY four and half year old daughters do this as well. We will hear a song, and they will want to hear it again, and again, and again, and again, and again...
  And I figure this means one or both of these things are correct...

  1. I am karmicly paying for my annoyance of other people with my repetitiveness.

 2. This is some sort of genetic anomaly that I have passed on to my children.

 What's that ? You want to what our current obsessive songs are? Very well:

  Mine:
    


 Facebook link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qB6XdAkkAo

  And the girls':

  

  Facebook link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4uxIo4t7xM&feature=related

Calling All Entertainment Weekly Readers !!!

I have a request for you.
As you may know, for their Simpsons cover last week, EW actually had 4 different covers. I have a subscription, so I received one cover- the Marge. My plan was to go out and scour the newsstands for the other 3( I NEED to have all 4- I don't know whether it's some form of OCD or what, but I need all 4 covers), but I dropped the ball. I didn't find any. Here it goes-D'oh !!
Now, I need your help. Does anyone have copies of the other 3(Bart, Lisa, Homer) that they do not plan to keep ? If so, I beg of you to send them to me. I would gladly reimburse for the price of the mag and mailing costs.

Baseball...

"You can't sit on a lead and run a few plays into the line and just kill the clock. You've got to throw the ball over the goddamn plate and give the other man his chance. That's why baseball is the greatest game of them all." ~Earl Weaver

What a great quote. It is one of the things I do love most about baseball. You have to get the last 3 outs. there's no keeping the ball away, no running out the clock. The other team gets their "last licks" as we always called them on the sandlot(okay, it actually was a parking lot, but 'sandlot" is so much more evocative and poetic, innit ?).

So i guess I let the cat out of the bag, there, eh ? I'm a baseball fan. Actually, I doubt that's really news. i think I make frequent enough references to my beloved New York Mets(they're"...my favorite squadron.") in my posts, that you probably have picked up on it by now. And for a long time, i think i mostly just paid attention to the Mets. I mean, I would know what teams were doing well, and what teams were bad, and things like that. But lately, I find that I am more interested in the game as a whole. Or perhaps I have always been this interested, and I am only just noticing...That's probably the more likely scenario.

I don't know that I really have a point to this post(wow, the first time I typed that sentence, I misspelled EVERY word!I'm rather impressed with myself). I don't know if it's that I'm getting old, so baseball is one of the few things I can still follow, or what. But for instance, last night, Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers, pitched a no-hitter, and I love when something like atht happens(even though a Met has NEVER thrown one...EVER..Several ex-Mets have{Seaver, Nolan Ryan, Doc Gooden, David Cone} but no one wearing a Met uniform has EVER thrown a no-hitter) because they always go through the history of when the last one was thrown, when the last pitcher for that team threw one. All sorts of minutiae, and I gobble it all up.

I guess I'm a baseball geek, huh ? Is that what this is ? My baseball geek confession ? So be it.

I love baseball.
I love the New York Mets.(And believe me, they are not always easy to love)
I hate the New York Yankees.
I think that whether he took steroids or not, Barry Bonds is an arrogant asshole.
So is Alex Rodriguez.
Manny Ramirez cracks me up.
I hate the New York Yankees.
I'm not super fond of the Dodgers either(they broke my Dad's heart when they left Brooklyn, those pigfuckers. I don't forget.)
Though I do miss the 6 dollar tickets to Dodger games.
I miss going to Wrigley Field as well.
I think the Cubs might be cursed, and I find it kind of funny and kind of sad at the same time.
I love the new York Mets.
I'm not fond of the Braves or the Phillies.
I am eagerly awaiting the return of Pedro Martinez.
Did I mention that I hate the New York Yankees ?

My Body Is No LONGER Your Wonderland, Miss. Simpson !!

I am aware that these are dark times.

Gas prices are skyrocketing.

There is yet ANOTHER Shrek movie.

Veronica Mars has been cancelled.(Pigfuckers at CW-Sorry- that is just my Pavolvian reaction to the news that Veronica Mars was cancelled(Pigfuckers at CW)- See ?

And now this- John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are apparently a couple no more. I will give you a moment to compose yourselves,I know it is upsetting news. It has hit all of us very hard. All the more so because it ended without a single musical collaboration- Whom among us didn't want to witness THAT ?

The reason I feel the need to write about this is twofold:1. only by acknowledging and dealing with the pain can we start to heal, both as individuals, and as a human collective. 2., I know that my name will start surfacing in these reports soon enough, and I wanted to set the record straight before the gossip machine starts working its' magic. I DID NOT break up Jessica Simpson & John Mayer.

So let's start with the facts. Yes, I did have a relationship with Jessica Simpson(I used to call her J-Simp). It was brief, but torrid. It had a real "Reckless"(1984 movie starring Aidan Quinn & Daryl Hannah- tagline-"Girls like Tracy never tell their parents about guys like Rourke.")vibe to it. We both knew it wouldn't last. Well, I knew it, J-Simp did not necessarily agree.

Before I go any further, I want you folks to know that this happened AFTER her split from Nick Lachey, and BEFORE her liaison with John Mayer. I thought I was harmless rebound guy- We would have some fun, and she would move on. It didn't happen that way. As you might expect, she became obsessed with old Paticus. It's an old story. it's happened more times than I care to remember. What can I say ? I'm a sexual dynamo. A powder keg of smoldering sexuality. Jessica got a taste, and could not get enough.

I tried to let her down easy. I told that she was a great kid, but that I wasn't the guy for her. She needed someone safer, someone that might settle down with her. J-Simp is a nester, we both knew that.

She seemed to understand and accept the truth. I thought everything was cool. She moved on to John Mayer, who's a good kid. I thought they'd be great together.

But soon the late night phone calls started. At first they seemed harmless enough. She'd call to talk about the latest episode of "Lost", or about a Ziggy cartoon she found amusing. I thought we were becoming "friends".

Then the calls became more frequent. And she would constantly want to reminisce about our "relationship". And call me a jerk, but I can only recount our trip to Six Flags so many times. And she would recount our sexual encounters, in great detail. Quite frankly, it started getting uncomfortable.

Then, JOHN started calling me. He was asking why I was still in Jessica's "Five", and why she called me all the time. I basically told him that it ain't my problem if he can't control his old lady. He didn't like that, and he challenged me to a duel.(He had recently watched "Barry Lyndon", apparently.) I told him that I had no call to duel him, and that he really should just focus on his relationship with Jessica, and not worry so much about me. I also told him that I would have one last conversation with Jessica.

Which I did, and I thought it went well. She apologized for not being able to let go, and I told her that I understood, but that she really needed to move on. She cried. A lot. But I think it finally sunk in.We left things on good terms.

And I thought that was the end of it. The phone calls stopped, and Jessica and John seemed happier than ever. And now I hear that their relationship is over. And I know how the press are, damn vultures. And I know that my name will be dragged into this, just as it was when Liza Minelli and David Guest separated, and I just figured that I would fire the opening volley this time.

So there you have it. I did date Jessica Simpson, and I suppose part of me will always love her. But we were ships passing in the night, and we both know that. I had high hopes for her and John, and I hope now that they will both be able to be happy. I just need it known that I did not destroy their relationship.
Thanks for your time.